Monthly Archives: March 2025

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I met Molly. Molly was questioning the church and her desire to leave was growing. She was the primary chorister and was trying to increase female representation in the songs being taught which I greatly respected and admired. She helped me to start thinking more critically. Because of Molly I started opening my mind which was very rigid and devout. Watching her in the primary room teaching on her last Sunday was heartbreaking- why were all the best people leaving?? And did we really want to know the answer? Many of Derrick's home teaching people left. We were so confused- how could they leave god and his church. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
I met Molly. Molly was questioning the church and her desire to leave was growing. She was the primary chorister and was trying to increase female representation in the songs being taught which I greatly respected and admired. She helped me to start thinking more critically. Because of Molly I started opening my mind which was very rigid and devout. Watching her in the primary room teaching on her last Sunday was heartbreaking- why were all the best people leaving?? And did we really want to know the answer? Many of Derrick's home teaching people left. We were so confused- how could they leave god and his church. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
The wedding itself was very stressful. Derrick's mom suggested we call everyone and tell them we actually weren’t getting married in the temple. We refused to do that, but it was awkward at our reception when loved ones asked how the temple was. We were ashamed and embarrassed. We got pregnant on our 1 year anniversary which we interpreted as god rewarding us for being sealed in the temple. Derrick went to dental school and we bit off way more than we could chew, kid after kid after kid and callings galore. We served our hearts out and made some great friends along the way. Looking back to that time we both have major PTSD. We did too much, especially for church. We continued to work hard and serve hard and have lots of babies. My sister passed away in 2010 and we adopted her daughter along with having a baby. We had her sealed in the temple which was followed by a bunch of weird comments about how she now belonged to us for eternity. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
The wedding itself was very stressful. Derrick's mom suggested we call everyone and tell them we actually weren’t getting married in the temple. We refused to do that, but it was awkward at our reception when loved ones asked how the temple was. We were ashamed and embarrassed. We got pregnant on our 1 year anniversary which we interpreted as god rewarding us for being sealed in the temple. Derrick went to dental school and we bit off way more than we could chew, kid after kid after kid and callings galore. We served our hearts out and made some great friends along the way. Looking back to that time we both have major PTSD. We did too much, especially for church. We continued to work hard and serve hard and have lots of babies. My sister passed away in 2010 and we adopted her daughter along with having a baby. We had her sealed in the temple which was followed by a bunch of weird comments about how she now belonged to us for eternity. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
Derrick fit the list: returned missionary righteous priesthood holder. We had similar goals and got engaged. Our engagement was traumatic. We were so in love and were all over each other. We accidentally had oral sex. Which was amazing, but also terrible because we broke the law of chastity. Being the extremely righteous people we were we ran to our bishop and tried to repent. Several traumatic things followed. Derrick's parents wanted us to tell his 5 younger siblings why we couldn’t get married in the temple. We spent the night in the hospital because the stress caused me to get food stuck in my throat. Derrick lost his favorite job teaching at the MTC. Fortunately we did not get kicked out of BYU as we were both almost finished. 3. Disciplinary council for Derrick. BYU Bishop ensued the council to feel bad bad bad-god is so mad and sad at your behavior. In fact maybe Mary should have been a better gatekeeper-is she even wife material? - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
Derrick fit the list: returned missionary righteous priesthood holder. We had similar goals and got engaged. Our engagement was traumatic. We were so in love and were all over each other. We accidentally had oral sex. Which was amazing, but also terrible because we broke the law of chastity. Being the extremely righteous people we were we ran to our bishop and tried to repent. Several traumatic things followed. Derrick's parents wanted us to tell his 5 younger siblings why we couldn’t get married in the temple. We spent the night in the hospital because the stress caused me to get food stuck in my throat. Derrick lost his favorite job teaching at the MTC. Fortunately we did not get kicked out of BYU as we were both almost finished. 3. Disciplinary council for Derrick. BYU Bishop ensued the council to feel bad bad bad-god is so mad and sad at your behavior. In fact maybe Mary should have been a better gatekeeper-is she even wife material? - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
I graduated from BYU, got married had 8 kids by 35 years old, and became disillusioned with the church at 40. I went to EFY when I was 16 and saw righteous good looking men and knew that was where I would go to college. It was the only place I applied. BYU or bust. I declared my major engineering and started college. I listened to every devotional, religion teacher and general conference talk and quickly learned my place. I was to be a wife and a mother. I switched majors to family money management and started my search for a man who could support the large family I was to have as a devoted member and a builder of the kingdom. I was a Mormon. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/
I graduated from BYU, got married had 8 kids by 35 years old, and became disillusioned with the church at 40. I went to EFY when I was 16 and saw righteous good looking men and knew that was where I would go to college. It was the only place I applied. BYU or bust. I declared my major engineering and started college. I listened to every devotional, religion teacher and general conference talk and quickly learned my place. I was to be a wife and a mother. I switched majors to family money management and started my search for a man who could support the large family I was to have as a devoted member and a builder of the kingdom. I was a Mormon. - Mary's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/marykathrynprice/

The Other Mormon Extermination Order, from Brigham Young against the Timpanogos People

The Provo River Massacre, also known as the Battle of Fort Utah, was a brutal campaign of extermination carried out in 1850 under the direct orders of Brigham Young against the Timpanogos people in what is now Provo, Utah. Tensions between Mormon settlers and the Timpanogos had escalated over land disputes and trade conflicts. Rather …

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“The famous five stages of grief may help us to name our feelings and experiences inside of grief, but they were never meant to be a step-by-step prescription for how to move forward. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance reflect how people tend to cope with the reality of death and dying. They were never intended to offer a roadmap for grief.” - Speaking Grief Documentary | speakinggrief.org
“The famous five stages of grief may help us to name our feelings and experiences inside of grief, but they were never meant to be a step-by-step prescription for how to move forward. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance reflect how people tend to cope with the reality of death and dying. They were never intended to offer a roadmap for grief.” - Speaking Grief Documentary | speakinggrief.org
“The five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with who/what we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.” - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss-American Psychiatrist, On Death and Dying (1969) | wasmormon.org
“The five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with who/what we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.” - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss-American Psychiatrist, On Death and Dying (1969)
Meme, "McDonald's can mess up your order 101 times and you still keep going back... but one thing goes wrong at church and you quit. People just aren't hungry enough. - If by “one thing goes wrong at church,” you mean “I studied its history and lost my belief.” It’s not about not being spiritually hungry enough—it’s about realizing the entire foundation is built on claims that collapse under scrutiny. McDonald’s never claimed to be led by God or to even be divinely inspired—the church does. | wasmormon.org
"McDonald's can mess up your order 101 times and you still keep going back... but one thing goes wrong at church and you quit. People just aren't hungry enough. - If by “one thing goes wrong at church,” you mean “I studied its history and lost my belief.” It’s not about not being spiritually hungry enough—it’s about realizing the entire foundation is built on claims that collapse under scrutiny. McDonald’s never claimed to be led by God or to even be divinely inspired—the church does.
[He] chose to be a perpetual doubter. As one concern was resolved, another one was found. “Church history whack-a-mole.” The children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
[He] chose to be a perpetual doubter. As one concern was resolved, another one was found. “Church history whack-a-mole.” The children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
Doubt is not and will never be the precursor of faith any more than light depends on darkness for its creation... This is what happened to Stephen. He let doubt and uncertainty occupy his mind. As time went on, he did not have the strength to confront the challenges that one faces as a member of the Church. He grew weary in his mind, and his faith disappeared. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
Doubt is not and will never be the precursor of faith any more than light depends on darkness for its creation... This is what happened to Stephen. He let doubt and uncertainty occupy his mind. As time went on, he did not have the strength to confront the challenges that one faces as a member of the Church. He grew weary in his mind, and his faith disappeared. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
What Stephen was doing is a form of “Church history whack-a-mole.” You know, the children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. While further intellectual information may temporarily resolve an intellectual concern, further information is not the complete solution. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
What Stephen was doing is a form of “Church history whack-a-mole.” You know, the children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. While further intellectual information may temporarily resolve an intellectual concern, further information is not the complete solution. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
He was digging up in doubt what he had planted in faith. As time went on, as one concern was resolved, another one was found. No matter how much anyone tried to respond and answer these questions, he found another topic on which he was anxious. He focused on the dents in the boat instead of on the capability of the boat to lead him to the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
He was digging up in doubt what he had planted in faith. As time went on, as one concern was resolved, another one was found. No matter how much anyone tried to respond and answer these questions, he found another topic on which he was anxious. He focused on the dents in the boat instead of on the capability of the boat to lead him to the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
But now I really am concerned that the priesthood was withheld for a time from those of African descent” ... Sadly, Stephen had chosen to be a perpetual doubter. For him, doubting pleased him more than knowing - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
But now I really am concerned that the priesthood was withheld for a time from those of African descent” ... Sadly, Stephen had chosen to be a perpetual doubter. For him, doubting pleased him more than knowing - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
But now I’m really concerned about the polygamy that was practiced in Nauvoo and after the Manifesto in 1890. That is really troubling me.” I asked Stephen to visit with someone who had researched these topics in reliable primary sources. After that discussion, I contacted Stephen and asked how he was doing. He said, “Well, that doesn’t bother me anymore. I understand what happened, and my concerns have been resolved... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
But now I’m really concerned about the polygamy that was practiced in Nauvoo and after the Manifesto in 1890. That is really troubling me.” I asked Stephen to visit with someone who had researched these topics in reliable primary sources. After that discussion, I contacted Stephen and asked how he was doing. He said, “Well, that doesn’t bother me anymore. I understand what happened, and my concerns have been resolved... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
As I visited with Stephen, he said that he had concerns with the fact that Joseph Smith related four versions of the First Vision. He thought that this might mean that Joseph Smith made up his experience. I put Stephen in contact with a man who had researched these four versions decades earlier. Stephen visited with the researcher. The next time I spoke with Stephen I said, “So, how do you feel about the First Vision?” He said, “Well, I feel okay about that because my questions have been answered. That no longer bothers me... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
As I visited with Stephen, he said that he had concerns with the fact that Joseph Smith related four versions of the First Vision. He thought that this might mean that Joseph Smith made up his experience. I put Stephen in contact with a man who had researched these four versions decades earlier. Stephen visited with the researcher. The next time I spoke with Stephen I said, “So, how do you feel about the First Vision?” He said, “Well, I feel okay about that because my questions have been answered. That no longer bothers me... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole
A stake president asked me to visit with a man whom I will call Stephen. Stephen had been a faithful member of the Church. He had served a mission and had married in the temple. He had served faithfully for many years but began to have doubts about the Church. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org
A stake president asked me to visit with a man whom I will call Stephen. Stephen had been a faithful member of the Church. He had served a mission and had married in the temple. He had served faithfully for many years but began to have doubts about the Church. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

Bednar’s Evasive $300 Billion Answer Only Raises More Questions

In February 2025, the LDS Church released a new video featuring an interview with David A. Bednar at the Silicon Slopes Summit on September 28, 2023. The interview was conducted by Ryan Smith, Mormon billionaire, co-founder of Qualtrics, and owner of multiple professional sports teams, including the Utah Jazz (NBA), Utah Hockey Club (NHL), and …

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This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
I’m incredibly grateful to my spouse and my whole family for loving me and accepting me even as my beliefs have changed. My family is amazing. If you’re a faithful member reading this, please know that if you’re happy in the church - then I’m genuinely happy for you. I know we still share enough common values to foster mutual respect. I also know how troubling and confusing it can be when someone leaves your tribe. I’ll admit, I judged people who left before me. It was so much easier to tie a nice bow around their choice than to actually try and grapple with it. No one offended me. I don’t have an addiction. And I don’t feel like I’m betraying my integrity. I’m being true to my integrity and the values the church and my family instilled in me. I feel if I meet God tomorrow, he will understand that. If, like me a few years back, you’re starting to slip down a rabbit hole and aren’t sure where you’ll land, please know it’s all going to be ok and you're not alone! - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I’m incredibly grateful to my spouse and my whole family for loving me and accepting me even as my beliefs have changed. My family is amazing. If you’re a faithful member reading this, please know that if you’re happy in the church - then I’m genuinely happy for you. I know we still share enough common values to foster mutual respect. I also know how troubling and confusing it can be when someone leaves your tribe. I’ll admit, I judged people who left before me. It was so much easier to tie a nice bow around their choice than to actually try and grapple with it. No one offended me. I don’t have an addiction. And I don’t feel like I’m betraying my integrity. I’m being true to my integrity and the values the church and my family instilled in me. I feel if I meet God tomorrow, he will understand that. If, like me a few years back, you’re starting to slip down a rabbit hole and aren’t sure where you’ll land, please know it’s all going to be ok and you're not alone! - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/