I feel I have been lied to and feel deeply betrayed and hurt by the church. Confronting these emotions caused intense grief and heartache. I had to grieve the loss of my former life and culture and my identity as a member. I felt awful knowing I disappointed my family and how my choices impact their belief system about the eternal family. I struggled feeling like I will be judged and disrespected by the people I love.
The church prevented me from living the life I wanted for myself and accepting the reality of that filled me with anger. I feel much of my life has been stolen from me. Understanding and accepting all of this is extremely painful.
Learning to listen to and love myself have been powerful in my healing. Leaving the church made me realize the church limited happiness and joy to this one little box but there are so many ways to live a fulfilling, happy, purposeful and joyful life. I feel like my world has expanded and there is so much potential for love and happiness. It feels like a rainbow of joy exploded.