Hi, my name is Jean.
I was a mormon until I read real church history back in 2006. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother who loves to read and research topics of interest. I do a bit of proof reading on the side.
I was born in Dorset, UK in 1944 while air raids raged around us. The education system in UK after the war was pretty rudimentary I think and the 'eleven plus' exam still existed to show who was 'smart' enough to go to grammar school and be destined for a career.
I was not taught to think critically and was trained in religious thought by my school and the Church of England. I believed in 'God' and thought that everyone else believed in the same way.
I was excited when as a young wife and mother of two small children the missionaries from the Mormon Church knocked on our door and proceeded to teach us about 'true religion'. We joined and later moved to Canada, then were divorced. I moved to Edmonton and married again to a faithful Mormon whose family had been pioneers in the US and Southern Alberta.
As seniors my husband and I served a mission to Capetown, South Africa. On our second day in the country, we were involved in a road accident in the mission's Volkswagen van. We were passengers in the back seat and received the worst injuries. My husband's neck was broken, my back and many other bones. We had cuts and bruising everywhere.
GOD DIDN'T PROTECT US. We were wearing our temple garment underwear, we were being faithful by serving a mission and yet... I didn't give up on the church over that of course but it did begin a series of questions about why and why God seemed to have abandoned Africa - I had never seen such poverty - even among the faithful members of the church. The accident happened in April and on July 4th my son-in-law's battle with cancer ended with his death at age 32. Just before Christmas one of our missionaries, newly arrived from the USA on Wed, was killed in yet another car accident on Friday - WHY? We returned home to Canada after serving for 18 months, but I could not settle into the old way of life knowing that people in Africa were hungry, needed education and jobs, so we raised money and went back to our old mission area to give out micro loans for people to start their own businesses. WHY doesn't the church do that? My second son left the church and I wanted to know why. He shared what information he had about the history of the church and before too long, I had read all of that and so much more. It was a terrible time for me and I felt quite suicidal. I didn't know who I was if, after 39 years, I was no longer 'Sister Bodie', the bishop's wife, the branch president's wife, the seminary teacher etc. Some of my family members and my children were angry / upset with me for leaving the church, my husband and I were arguing about the information I was discovering and I realized that God didn't even care about that. If God loved anyone, ever, he certainly did not love me. I learned that 'feelings' are not a good way to determine what is true. I learned that information needed sources to even be considered. I learned that the reason why black men could not receive the priesthood was pure racism. I learned that the church is a racist, misogynistic organization that does not deserve the loyalty of its members - so I resigned my membership.