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"If there was some divine power out there it was female. I prayed to a Heavenly Mother just one time, please please help me! Is this church true or not? I have to know, I have to know now. And the feeling I got was that She said no. No it's not true, and I'm you, I'm your daughter, and I'm love. I gave my daughter a baby blessing a few months later." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"If there was some divine power out there it was female. I prayed to a Heavenly Mother just one time, please please help me! Is this church true or not? I have to know, I have to know now. And the feeling I got was that She said no. No it's not true, and I'm you, I'm your daughter, and I'm love. I gave my daughter a baby blessing a few months later." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"My activity was less and less until I had my daughter. And I knew almost instantly that I would never set foot in a Mormon church again. How could I force onto her the shame I've held onto my whole life? This perfect little girl was my responsibility, my body grew her, gave her life." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"My activity was less and less until I had my daughter. And I knew almost instantly that I would never set foot in a Mormon church again. How could I force onto her the shame I've held onto my whole life? This perfect little girl was my responsibility, my body grew her, gave her life." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"I was the Relief Society secretary for awhile until I found out how much the presidency gossiped and withheld food orders from members simply for not liking them personally. I went to one of the church's entrepreneur business classes but it was so ridged and focused on paying tithing I could not go back to those." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"I was the Relief Society secretary for awhile until I found out how much the presidency gossiped and withheld food orders from members simply for not liking them personally. I went to one of the church's entrepreneur business classes but it was so ridged and focused on paying tithing I could not go back to those." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"I had seen and read a few whispers of what the temple rituals were like but I never allowed myself to look into it deeper. Even to the point where I did not want to take the temple prep classes before getting married. I figured that it was taken out of context or fabricated "anti-mormon" content. To my uncomfortable disappointment, I discovered that it was all true: the naked anointing, the handshakes, the Adam and Eve story as fact, the Masonic clothing, the secret names – it was exactly what I feared. I never returned to the temple but I did my best to stay in the church for my family for five more years." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"I had seen and read a few whispers of what the temple rituals were like but I never allowed myself to look into it deeper. Even to the point where I did not want to take the temple prep classes before getting married. I figured that it was taken out of context or fabricated "anti-mormon" content. To my uncomfortable disappointment, I discovered that it was all true: the naked anointing, the handshakes, the Adam and Eve story as fact, the Masonic clothing, the secret names – it was exactly what I feared. I never returned to the temple but I did my best to stay in the church for my family for five more years." - Madison | wasmormon.org
"Why did I leave? I wanted to have a healthy relationship with myself, my spouse, and my kids. The teachings of the church ate away at my self-image and any feelings of self-worth I might have had. Now I'm happier than I've ever been. I finally feel like I matter. I feel like I can give my kids what they need. I feel free." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"Why did I leave? I wanted to have a healthy relationship with myself, my spouse, and my kids. The teachings of the church ate away at my self-image and any feelings of self-worth I might have had. Now I'm happier than I've ever been. I finally feel like I matter. I feel like I can give my kids what they need. I feel free." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"I was willing to overlook things like inconsistencies, especially when I would look at the writings of people like Hugh Nibley. They knew more than I did, so who was I to argue? They were able to square the circle and so should I. I was physically in, mentally out for several years, as I'd found too much wrong with the church, and it eroded my belief in the church." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"I was willing to overlook things like inconsistencies, especially when I would look at the writings of people like Hugh Nibley. They knew more than I did, so who was I to argue? They were able to square the circle and so should I. I was physically in, mentally out for several years, as I'd found too much wrong with the church, and it eroded my belief in the church." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"But the thing that broke my shelf was the treatment of and attitude regarding LGBTQ+ people. I found it reprehensible that apostles would incite hatred like Holland did with his now-infamous "musket fire" talk at BYU. And when I learned that BYU had carried out conversion therapy during Oaks' tenure as president—and that he blatantly lied about it—I knew I had to leave." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"But the thing that broke my shelf was the treatment of and attitude regarding LGBTQ+ people. I found it reprehensible that apostles would incite hatred like Holland did with his now-infamous "musket fire" talk at BYU. And when I learned that BYU had carried out conversion therapy during Oaks' tenure as president—and that he blatantly lied about it—I knew I had to leave." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"I grew up in Utah County, and was a pretty good Mormon. I was a convert in some senses, as I wasn't active as a young kid and my ex-wife did the whole "flirt to convert" thing. But when I joined, I went all-in. I was a ward missionary in several wards and wanted to become a bishop. I was doing well with it. I was a Mormon." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"I grew up in Utah County, and was a pretty good Mormon. I was a convert in some senses, as I wasn't active as a young kid and my ex-wife did the whole "flirt to convert" thing. But when I joined, I went all-in. I was a ward missionary in several wards and wanted to become a bishop. I was doing well with it. I was a Mormon." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"People like my kids don't know what they're agreeing to when they join the church. It's wrong to have someone agree to follow certain rules for their whole life when they don't know what it really means to pay tithing, wear garments, take time to go to the temple, clean the church, etc. for their entire life. My kids deserve to know." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"People like my kids don't know what they're agreeing to when they join the church. It's wrong to have someone agree to follow certain rules for their whole life when they don't know what it really means to pay tithing, wear garments, take time to go to the temple, clean the church, etc. for their entire life. My kids deserve to know." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"When I was a member, I believed that anyone who left did so because they were offended. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm not Mormon because I don't believe in what the church teaches and feel that it has moral failings that a religious organization should make an effort to address. As a member, I believed the church to be the paragon of morality. But then I found out leaders from the beginning had been dishonest about so many things." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
"When I was a member, I believed that anyone who left did so because they were offended. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm not Mormon because I don't believe in what the church teaches and feel that it has moral failings that a religious organization should make an effort to address. As a member, I believed the church to be the paragon of morality. But then I found out leaders from the beginning had been dishonest about so many things." - Jeff https://wasmormon.org/profile/darthyagi/
Sister Nelson explained that in their 12 years of marriage, she had watched the process of revelation and inspiration upon her husband but that since becoming the president of the Church, those revelations have “expanded exponentially.” She explained, “He keeps a lined yellow pad of paper beside his bed.” Then she declared, “In the morning he holds up a half page to one and a half pages of notes with joy.” - Elder Neil L Andersen, 2018 via Facebook post | wasmormon.org
Sister Nelson explained that in their 12 years of marriage, she had watched the process of revelation and inspiration upon her husband but that since becoming the president of the Church, those revelations have “expanded exponentially.”She explained, “He keeps a lined yellow pad of paper beside his bed.” Then she declared, “In the morning he holds up a half page to one and a half pages of notes with joy.” - Elder Neil L Andersen, 2018 via Facebook post
"As most members of the mormon church, I participated in 'volunteer' positions since I was a teenager. I taught Sunday School, Relief Society, and Young Women, and I particularly liked teaching Gospel Docrine classes. When I was 20, I went on a mission. I year later, I married in the Payson, Utah mormon temple. I almost made it through the mormon life checklist!" - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"As most members of the mormon church, I participated in 'volunteer' positions since I was a teenager. I taught Sunday School, Relief Society, and Young Women, and I particularly liked teaching Gospel Docrine classes. When I was 20, I went on a mission. I year later, I married in the Payson, Utah mormon temple. I almost made it through the mormon life checklist!" - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"Becoming disillusioned was painful. I consider myself extraordinarily lucky to have my spouse and my family be with me through the hardest thing I've ever done. Healing is ongoing, and yet, I have the peace I yearned for that faith never afforded me." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"Becoming disillusioned was painful. I consider myself extraordinarily lucky to have my spouse and my family be with me through the hardest thing I've ever done. Healing is ongoing, and yet, I have the peace I yearned for that faith never afforded me." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"Today, my life is worlds different than I dreamed it could be (in the best ways). I wouldn't have been able to dream up a marriage and life outside the "temple marriage" structure I saw my whole life. I thought if I stopped living the teachings and rules, my life would fall apart, and I'd never be happy again." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"Today, my life is worlds different than I dreamed it could be (in the best ways). I wouldn't have been able to dream up a marriage and life outside the "temple marriage" structure I saw my whole life. I thought if I stopped living the teachings and rules, my life would fall apart, and I'd never be happy again." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"The world is big and new. Somedays, it can be a little scary out of the mormon bubble- but I am so glad to be living life according to the dictates of my conscience. I'm so glad I can act and live congruent with my values." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"The world is big and new. Somedays, it can be a little scary out of the mormon bubble- but I am so glad to be living life according to the dictates of my conscience. I'm so glad I can act and live congruent with my values." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"I sincerely believed the Mormon theology. I had experiences that made me feel I knew it was true. I did all the 'should's' and avoided the 'shouldn't's'. If I did a shouldn't, I felt guilt and shame and would repent." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"I sincerely believed the Mormon theology. I had experiences that made me feel I knew it was true. I did all the 'should's' and avoided the 'shouldn't's'. If I did a shouldn't, I felt guilt and shame and would repent." - Teddi | https://wasmormon.org/profile/t3dd1/
"Musket fire? Yes, we will always need defenders of the faith, but “friendly fire” is a tragedy—and from time to time the Church, its leaders, and some of our colleagues within the university community have taken such fire on this campus. And sometimes it isn’t friendly, wounding students and the parents of students—so many who are confused about what so much recent flag-waving and parade-holding on this issue means." - Elder Jeffrey R Holland, 2021 | wasmormon.org
"Musket fire? Yes, we will always need defenders of the faith, but “friendly fire” is a tragedy—and from time to time the Church, its leaders, and some of our colleagues within the university community have taken such fire on this campus. And sometimes it isn’t friendly, wounding students and the parents of students—so many who are confused about what so much recent flag-waving and parade-holding on this issue means." - Elder Jeffrey R Holland, 2021
"In a way LDS scholars at BYU and elsewhere are a little bit like the builders of the temple in Nauvoo, who worked with a trowel in one hand and a musket in the other. Today scholars building the temple of learning must also pause on occasion to defend the Kingdom. I personally think this is one of the reasons the Lord established and maintains this University. The dual role of builder and defender is unique and ongoing. I am grateful we have scholars today who can handle, as it were, both trowels and muskets." - Elder Neal A Maxwell, 2004 | wasmormon.org
"In a way LDS scholars at BYU and elsewhere are a little bit like the builders of the temple in Nauvoo, who worked with a trowel in one hand and a musket in the other. Today scholars building the temple of learning must also pause on occasion to defend the Kingdom. I personally think this is one of the reasons the Lord established and maintains this University. The dual role of builder and defender is unique and ongoing. I am grateful we have scholars today who can handle, as it were, both trowels and muskets." - Elder Neal A Maxwell, 2004
"Among his commandments is a law of health known as the Word of Wisdom. This law teaches us not to take alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and harmful drugs into our bodies. These things damage our physical bodies and harm our spirits." - LDS Missionary Discussion #4 - Eternal Progression | wasmormon.org
"Among his commandments is a law of health known as the Word of Wisdom. This law teaches us not to take alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and harmful drugs into our bodies. These things damage our physical bodies and harm our spirits." - LDS Missionary Discussion #4 - Eternal Progression
"For your information please be advised that the drinking of a beverage made from the coffee bean, from which the caffeine and deleterious drugs have been removed, is not a violation of the Word of Wisdom, and the drinking of Sanka is not a justifiable reason for denying a temple recommend to one who is otherwise worthy. We shall be pleased to have you convey this information to the presidency of the elders quorum." - David O McKay deems decaf coffee not to be against the Word of Wisdom or bar members from the temple | wasmormon.org
"For your information please be advised that the drinking of a beverage made from the coffee bean, from which the caffeine and deleterious drugs have been removed, is not a violation of the Word of Wisdom, and the drinking of Sanka is not a justifiable reason for denying a temple recommend to one who is otherwise worthy. We shall be pleased to have you convey this information to the presidency of the elders quorum." - David O McKay deems decaf coffee not to be against the Word of Wisdom or bar members from the temple
"In August 2010, age seventeen, I stumbled upon my first "anti-Mormon" website and discovered a bunch of the things people typically cite for their loss of faith - Joseph Smith's 1826 trial, Joseph Smith's evolving accounts of the First Vision, Joseph Smith's failed prophecies, DNA evidence contradicting the Book of Mormon, the Book of Abraham not matching the papyrus, and so on. I was blindsided and confused, but because of my recent spiritual experiences at EFY (now FSY) I held onto my faith until I found answers." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"In August 2010, age seventeen, I stumbled upon my first "anti-Mormon" website and discovered a bunch of the things people typically cite for their loss of faith - Joseph Smith's 1826 trial, Joseph Smith's evolving accounts of the First Vision, Joseph Smith's failed prophecies, DNA evidence contradicting the Book of Mormon, the Book of Abraham not matching the papyrus, and so on. I was blindsided and confused, but because of my recent spiritual experiences at EFY (now FSY) I held onto my faith until I found answers." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I don't have the usual male apostate's checklist of qualifications. I didn't graduate seminary, I didn't serve a mission, I was never Elders Quorum president, I didn't marry in (or out of) the temple. But I was fiercely committed to The Church as a teenager and for my first decade of adulthood. I wanted to be a beacon leading souls to Christ, a role model for balancing faith and reason, someone that people could look to and say "He's intelligent and knows about all the issues and still believes, so I can too." Perhaps I felt a bit prideful about staying in the church while leaving it was the trendy, obvious choice for my generation. Changing my mind was very hard, embarrassing, and long overdue." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I don't have the usual male apostate's checklist of qualifications. I didn't graduate seminary, I didn't serve a mission, I was never Elders Quorum president, I didn't marry in (or out of) the temple. But I was fiercely committed to The Church as a teenager and for my first decade of adulthood. I wanted to be a beacon leading souls to Christ, a role model for balancing faith and reason, someone that people could look to and say "He's intelligent and knows about all the issues and still believes, so I can too." Perhaps I felt a bit prideful about staying in the church while leaving it was the trendy, obvious choice for my generation. Changing my mind was very hard, embarrassing, and long overdue." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'I might close my own remarks the same way Stewart Udall closed his Statement of Conscience when he distanced himself from the church seventy-five years ago: "All this is said respectfully, in the realization that the Church contains much that is good, true, and beautiful …. and that it fills a felt need for most of its adherents. I nevertheless feel that I cannot enter into full communion with the church, indeed cannot commune with it at all in good conscience, as long as these attitudes, ideas and principles - and the men who further them - dominate the church."' - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'I might close my own remarks the same way Stewart Udall closed his Statement of Conscience when he distanced himself from the church seventy-five years ago: "All this is said respectfully, in the realization that the Church contains much that is good, true, and beautiful …. and that it fills a felt need for most of its adherents. I nevertheless feel that I cannot enter into full communion with the church, indeed cannot commune with it at all in good conscience, as long as these attitudes, ideas and principles - and the men who further them - dominate the church."' - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"Most of the answers from FAIR and other apologists were good enough for me. What I could never resolve, though, was the feeling of betrayal at having to learn these things from hostile sources instead of the church itself, or why it had sanitized, dumbed down, and misrepresented its history, which is ethically dubious at best and has caused a lot of avoidable problems. Why didn't prophets, seers and revelators have the foresight to be more honest before the internet gave them no choice?" - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"Most of the answers from FAIR and other apologists were good enough for me. What I could never resolve, though, was the feeling of betrayal at having to learn these things from hostile sources instead of the church itself, or why it had sanitized, dumbed down, and misrepresented its history, which is ethically dubious at best and has caused a lot of avoidable problems. Why didn't prophets, seers and revelators have the foresight to be more honest before the internet gave them no choice?" - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I do, however, want to get outside of its conditioning and see it more as outsiders see it. I want to learn in depth about other religions as objectively as I can, without evaluating all of their teachings through the filter of how much they align with what I already believe. I have no predetermined destination in mind and no goal of converting to something else. In all this, my highest priority is my personal relationship with God, which the church taught me to value. - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I do, however, want to get outside of its conditioning and see it more as outsiders see it. I want to learn in depth about other religions as objectively as I can, without evaluating all of their teachings through the filter of how much they align with what I already believe. I have no predetermined destination in mind and no goal of converting to something else. In all this, my highest priority is my personal relationship with God, which the church taught me to value. - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I was born into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but, like all members, had to decide for myself whether I actually believed in it or not. I thought it was boring and my attitude toward it ranged from apathetic to hostile until a random spiritual epiphany around age twelve or so. From then on it was an incentive for me to not kill myself, first out of fear that I would be punished for it and later out of love for God and hope for a better future. I was a Mormon" - Chris | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"I was born into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but, like all members, had to decide for myself whether I actually believed in it or not. I thought it was boring and my attitude toward it ranged from apathetic to hostile until a random spiritual epiphany around age twelve or so. From then on it was an incentive for me to not kill myself, first out of fear that I would be punished for it and later out of love for God and hope for a better future. I was a Mormon" - Chris | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"The church's history/beliefs with race (including but not limited to the Priesthood) are abysmal, full stop, and in my opinion there simply is no adequate explanation for why an organization led by God screwed up so badly on such a basic issue as the equality of God's children. I found this topic very troubling as a Mormon and researched it more than almost anyone else in the world, hoping that at some point it would make sense. That didn't happen." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
"The church's history/beliefs with race (including but not limited to the Priesthood) are abysmal, full stop, and in my opinion there simply is no adequate explanation for why an organization led by God screwed up so badly on such a basic issue as the equality of God's children. I found this topic very troubling as a Mormon and researched it more than almost anyone else in the world, hoping that at some point it would make sense. That didn't happen." - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'I did "doubt my doubts." I was not a "lazy learner" or a "lax disciple." I've tried to be an honest seeker of truth, and at this time, my honest truth-seeking has led me outside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I appreciate much of what I've learned and gained from the church and I don't intend to throw it all away.' - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'I did "doubt my doubts." I was not a "lazy learner" or a "lax disciple." I've tried to be an honest seeker of truth, and at this time, my honest truth-seeking has led me outside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I appreciate much of what I've learned and gained from the church and I don't intend to throw it all away.' - Christopher | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'And no, it's not true that "everyone was just as racist back then." Many people opposed slavery and supported the civil rights movement while this church did the opposite. Recognizing that its stance on race was never inspired helped me to recognize that its stances on women and LGBT+ individuals aren't inspired either.' - Chris | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/
'And no, it's not true that "everyone was just as racist back then." Many people opposed slavery and supported the civil rights movement while this church did the opposite. Recognizing that its stance on race was never inspired helped me to recognize that its stances on women and LGBT+ individuals aren't inspired either.' - Chris | https://wasmormon.org/profile/alien236/