Instead of asking "Why did God command Joseph Smith to marry a 14-year-old (just shy of her fifteenth birthday)?" Maybe the question we should be asking is "Why did God make him wait until she was 14?"
I was fortunate to travel the world with my work. I've read all the major scriptures. I wanted to leave a global perspective on humanity's creation of religions and provide an alternative. So I wrote my alternative. I realize it's an uphill battle. After 20 years of reading stuff they told me not to read, in my retirement, I wanted to do more than complain. I wrote "A Song Of Humanity: A science-based alternative to the world's religions". - Jim's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/jajisee/
So, I started over again reading widely in history, cosmology, physics, astronomy, chemistry, psychology, anthropology, archeology, evolution, evolutionary psychology, management, religion, physiology, brain chemistry, genetics, childhood development, and other related fields. When I joined I was going to be "all in". I have come to believe that there are billions of defenseless children around the world being indoctrinated by the narcissistic fantasies of Bronze Age goatherds--despite what we've learned over the last 200 years. - Jim's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/jajisee/
Members tried to drag me out of my bed to church (literally). My wife spent three years thinking and feeling about what was going on. My four children were confused. My wife eventually stopped going--and now says she's happier than she's ever been. So am I. The full(er) details of my life and into-and-out-of-faith journey are included in my book. I admire those who were able to "see clearly" earlier than I. Who knows what other paths one might have walked? That said, I just do not believe in believing in things that aren't accurate/true. My motto is "In Truth We Trust." I wish I'd figured this out at age 15, not 48. - Jim's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/jajisee/
From my baptism at age 12, I had a shelf of "unanswered questions" in my head. That shelf grew and grew over time. When things piled up at age 48 so high at home, work and church so that I could see tomorrow things were going to get worse, not better, I contemplated ending my life. I was released. Soon thereafter I was sitting in sacrament meeting listening to my former high counselors speak on "Be Ye Therefore Perfect Even As Your Father in Heave is Perfect" and "Even Your Thoughts Will Condemn You" and my body began to shake and tremble. I got up and walked out and never went back. - Jim's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/jajisee/
I was born in Idaho in a tiny remote town, my parents later divorced, Mom remarried an inactive Mormon, I was nudged into the Church at age 12, became devout, gave 100% (mission, branch president, high counselor, stake president) and that nearly killed me, so I was either going to die or do something else. After 35 years of devotion with numerous major callings, I had a near-death mid-life crisis and decided I had to start over with a "zero-based budgeting" approach to my beliefs. I was a Mormon. - Jim's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/jajisee/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
I emphasize that my decision is not the result of sin, or taking offense, or any other stereotypical justification, but simply that the church is not what it claims to be, and all evidence falsifies the church. The church is good at instilling ethics and values, so it is disturbing when it doesn't follow its own teachings on honesty. After eight years of intensive research and documentation of all sides, I choose to no longer belong to an organization that deceives its members. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
Faith cannot be sustained on falsehoods and deception. Faith is not sufficient when all tangible evidence contradicts the church. My testimony is based on evidence, facts, and historical research, and I know the church is not true, Joseph Smith was not a prophet, and The Book of Mormon is not the word of God. My integrity demanded that I no longer participate, and I resigned. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
Then came the rage over being deceived my whole life; I knew the church was a fraud, and there was nothing left of my testimony. I continued to research all the little details for eight years, both online and in books, until my family situation made it possible to resign. I so regret my time, energy, youth, and much tithing that were wasted on a lie, but my biggest regret is that I raised my children in the church. Some of my adult children see the fraud, but not all of them will, and there are many damaged familial relationships. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
Other than "feelings," what evidence is there the church is what it claims to be? Feelings are not a reliable test of truth, as anyone knows whose feelings have turned out to be wrong, such as feeling good about an investment which failed or a marriage that ended. If feelings equal truth, then Islam, Catholicism, Buddhism, and all other faiths are also the one true religion because their members also have a witness. Regarding faith, belief, witness, prayer, testimony, burning in the bosom, and other such feelings, many get those same inspirational feelings watching "Phantom of the Opera" or "Les Mis." Does that mean they are true? Many get bad feelings learning about the Holocaust. Does that mean the Holocaust isn't true? Most spiritual experiences can be scientifically explained within the brain. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
Since none of this evidence exists, I then did research on the brain, belief, and spiritual experiences and testimonies, and science again explained how these experiences occurred within a person’s own brain, without association to outside reality, e.g. Religious Tolerance. Indeed, all humankind has spiritual experiences and feelings, believing their own mutually exclusive faith is true, which is an impossibility. I learned that spiritual experiences and feelings are unreliable and insufficient as valid tests of truth. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
After I was grounded in science, then I started with real church history. I read about the multiple contradictory versions of the First Vision, and Joseph's face-in-the-hat translation method. The final straw was reading about Joseph Smith's marrying a 14 year old, and his polyandry with married women. After reading the heartrending story of Zina Diantha Huntington and Henry Jacobs, I was in tears. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
In many conversations with apologists and scientists, I have yet to see any credible scientific evidence of Book of Mormon civilizations. These are not events that occurred in the realm of the metaphysical, as these civilizations supposedly took place in the real world, and as such, there would be evidence to support these claims, yet there is none. That started my reading frenzy through about 100 science and religion books in about 6 months. It became undeniably clear that science proved the Book of Mormon and the Book of Abraham to be fakes. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
What started my disbelief? It started with science. Beginning in seminary and throughout the years, I was taught that "someday science will find proof for the Book of Mormon", so I put it on a shelf and waited. However, as science progressed, my dissonance grew. After watching a dozen archaeology shows on PBS where nothing in the Book of Mormon was ever mentioned, I called a faithful BYU science professor and asked if there was any archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, and how did he handle the dissonance between science and religion? I could tell by his carefully worded responses that he was no longer a believer. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
I was born-in-the-covenant, lived in Utah my whole life, returned missionary to England. I hold an M.Ed. and a cum laude B.S. in Education; both education degrees are from BYU. I married in the Provo temple and held a myriad of callings. I have always had an extremely strong conscience that kept me on the straight and narrow path, always striving to do right, and never rebelling. I was a Mormon. - Dianne's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/dianne-ormond/
Anytime an organization's operational budget is primarily made up of tax-free donations, from my perspective, they have an ethical obligation to be transparent about their finances. The reason why they have tried for so long to keep these portfolios under wraps, is because they are concerned that it would lower people's willingness to pay tithing. - Ryan McKnight, Government Regulator & Founder of Mormon Leaks. The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
It makes me feel pretty nauseous, to be quite honest, because although it's good to see a church investing funds in blue chip investments, that has to be balanced against how those funds could be used to benefit the lives of individuals and families. Even if it were only individuals and families within the church, a lot of people who are suffering could have their suffering alleviated if instead instead of diverting those monies into investment, they invested in individuals and families. - Neville Rocco, Australian Barrister, Former Mormon, Bishop, Free-thinker - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
We knew they had plenty of money, but we always assumed the money was just being used for good, charitable purposes. That's the messaging that you receive through the church anyway. It wasn't a gift, it was extorted out of us, and I want that acknowledged. I want it acknowledged that I did not give that money willingly. I gave it because I had to, and I don't believe the rubbish their peddling. I want my tithing money back. - Trevor and Sue Given, Australian Ex-Mormons, seeking refund of donations to Mormon church - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
The Mormon church will have you to believe that it's a religion that dabbles in business, but the evidence clearly shows that they are a business dabbling in religion, 100 percent. We uncovered, in terms of dollar value, even if you go on the conservative end of it, the church are clearly without a doubt, the wealthiest single landowner in the United States. There's no no question about it. Nobody comes even close. - Ryan McKnight, Government Regulator & Founder of Mormon Leaks. The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
In Canada, there's a charities directorate and I was able to see the full financial information. I was floored. I was like, holy cow, why don't I see qualified donations for the Red Cross or the Food Bank? I was like, what the heck!? $100 million donated to BYU? They've manipulated not only the general membership, but they've duped governments. - Nigel Kennet, a Canadian accountant, was working on the books of a church of a different faith, when he saw how much their members gave to charity. So, he looked into the Mormon's books, and was stunned by where their donations were going. - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
The church is taking away the government's ability to fund health care, and education, and provide other essential services. They've done it at the expense of taxpayer dollars. There's definitely been a change in [my] perspective. The church teaches that the temple should always be a focal point in your life. The temple has become a physical reminder of greed for me. - Nigel Kennet, a Canadian accountant, was working on the books of a church of a different faith, when he saw how much their members gave to charity. So, he looked into the Mormon's books, and was stunned by where their donations were going. - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
Why does God, God of Miracles, require all this money? With its preponderantly corporate structure, what else is it going to do? It's going to bring money in like a vacuum cleaner, to benefit the shareholders. That's what it does. When you join the dots, this seems to be a pattern of behavior that doesn't really favor the church very well in how it looks as a church. - Neville Rocco, Australian Barrister, Former Mormon, Bishop, Free-thinker - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
If people knew that the church had a hundred billion dollars, and they weren't putting it to any use, they would be less inclined to continue donating to the church. A lot of members of the Mormon church have been clamoring to get their tithing back. People are upset about this, they know that the ethics are not Christ's ethics. [The church has] billions of dollars in Apple, and in fossil fuel burning companies, and energy companies. All of these vehicles, you wouldn't think, are what churches would invest in. So that rattled people, and then the lack of activity in doing something that that money is designed to be used for. Nothing religious educational or charitable. Small community congregationalist type churches shouldn't be subjected to a severe burden of reporting. But giga churches have to. There are mega churches in this country, maybe there are a few in Canada too, but in this country, there is one giga church, and it's the Mormon Church. - Lars Nielsen, Whistleblower - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
There is in [Canada's] tax system a loophole that says if it's used for educational purposes that benefit Canadians outside of Canada, then you can use the money that way. They rationalize, oh, well maybe one percent of BYU is Canadian. They say as long as it's benefiting anyone who is Canadian at BYU... Even if it benefits one student. [My brother] started to hear that the leaders of the Mormon Church were saying things like, not one penny of tithing money was being used to build the City Creek Mall. That, blatantly wasn't true. He had seen the journal ledgers, he had been in on these conversations, he knew that 1.4 billion dollars had been spent to shore up the the City Creek Mall. If they do something that's illegal, I'm going to call them out on it because that's the right thing to do, and they taught me that. - Lars Nielsen, Whistleblower - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
The [prosperity gosepl] idea is, if you bring your tithing to God, that he will open the windows of heaven and you will have everything that you need. That is false. Jesus never taught that. It's not the way that the scripture should be interpreted. That's the way that Mormon culture interprets it. When you build out these complex corporate structures, you do it for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is to hide. I observed that when there's money and the accumulation of wealth involved, truth and transparency often take a back seat. - Josh Bigley, Canadian Ex-mormon Whistleblower - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
I'm bisexual, I'm not straight. I don't struggle with same-sex attraction, I struggle with people who struggle with my same-sex attraction. [Being bisexual at BYU] is absolutely awful. Because anyone can report you to the honor code office. That's the reality for queer students—we all live with that fear. They allow this atmosphere of homophobia to permeate. - Jeannie Williams, a Bisexual BYU Student. The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
Why is it easier for the church to move Canadian religious donations out, by moving it to a private American school? - Jacqueline Foster, a BYU Graduate, wonders why, with all the need in Canada, Canadian tithing is bankrolling BYU. The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
Starting in 2007, the Mormon Church in Canada began moving mass amounts of money to BYU. The biggest year on record, was 2016, when almost 110 million dollars was gifted to the university. That was nearly 70 percent of all the tithing money collected that year by the Canadian Church... More than one billion dollars, donated by Mormons, all eligible for tax deductions for those donations. When you add it all up, those deductions cost the Canadian treasury as much as 280 million dollars. In an emailed statement to The Fifth Estate, the church said, it is using a legitimate and well-known tax provision to transfer money to BYU and points out more donations were retained and used in Canada than the U.S. We crunched the numbers, since 2007, 46 percent of Canadian tithing money left the country. - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
Compared to other religions or Christian denominations, [the LDS church] is actually not a very charitable entity. It doesn't spend a lot of money out there. It doesn't create hospitals, it doesn't create social welfare, it doesn't do soup kitchens, that kind of thing. There's a lot of questions about whether the church has engaged in wide-scale tax avoidance or illegal wide-scale tax evasion. - Ben Schneiders, Investigative Journalist with the Asian Sydney Morning Herald, The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022
"The Greek root of the word crisis is “to sift.” As in to shake out the excesses and leave only what’s important. That’s what crises do. They shake things up until we are forced to decide and hold onto what matters most." - Carry On Warrior, Thoughts on Life Unarmed: To My Friend, on Her First Sober Morning, by Glennon Doyle
A Mormon Faith Crisis can actually be one of the greatest gifts of your lifetime – helping to: • Improve your overall mental and physical health. • Strengthen/deepen your family relationships. • Improve your marriage or your relationship with a significant other. • Find more meaningful and fulfilling friendships and community. • Improve your parenting effectiveness (for current and/or future children). • Develop a more authentic connection with yourself and your life. - John & Margi Dehlin, and Natasha Parker | “The Gift of the Mormon Faith Crisis” Podcast
Mormon Faith Crisis - A state of intense emotional distress resulting from the discovery of “uncorrelated” Church history facts that do not align with the traditional LDS narrative. This distress—and ensuing analysis of LDS truth claims—often results in members losing literal belief in the LDS truth claims.
I had some kid at BYU say to me, “I don’t believe in Joseph Smith anymore, but I still believe in God and Jesus”. And I said, “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but do you realize how stupid you just sounded?” - Brad Wilcox, Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency, Tri-Stake Fireside in Alpine, Utah, February 6, 2022
A lot of people get uptight about priesthood issues. It’s one of the most glorious things we have in the church, and yet people want to sit and fight about it and get uptight about it. “How come the blacks didn’t get the priesthood until 1978?” Maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Instead of saying, “Why did the Blacks have to wait until 1978?”, maybe what we should be asking is “Why did the whites and other races have to wait until 1829?” - Brad Wilcox, Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency, Tri-Stake Fireside in Alpine, Utah, February 6, 2022
"It’s what most people in the world are doing. They’re playing Church... In our church, we don’t play church." - Brad Wilcox, Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency, Tri-Stake Fireside in Alpine, Utah, February 6, 2022
I said, “In my Church, we get married in the temple, where we are sealed for time and all eternity”, and she went, “Oh! I love that!”... She went to the minister and said, “May I write my own ceremony?” He said, “For an extra fee.” So she paid the extra money and wrote her own ceremony. I sat there in that Protestant church and listened as the preacher sealed them for time and all eternity. I was like, “That is so wrong!” Why? Authority. No authority. They just didn’t have permission to say those words. Because they were playing church, and in our church, we don’t play church. - Brad Wilcox, Second Counselor in the Young Men General Presidency, Tri-Stake Fireside in Alpine, Utah, February 6, 2022
"Why did Joseph Smith marry a mother and daughter?" Maybe we ought to be asking, "Why didn't he marry the grandma too?"
"Why don't women have the priesthood?" Maybe we ought to be asking "why men don't have more priesthood?"
The BITE model is a framework developed by Steven Hassan, a mental health counselor and former cult member, to analyze and assess the control and influence tactics used by cults or high-control groups. "BITE" stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control, and it serves as a tool to identify the key ways in which cults manipulate and manipulate their members.
"It requires a great exertion on the parts of wives to keep pace with their husbands.You all perceive more imperfections in those around you than you do in yourselves. It is much more difficult for wives to learn than it is for husbands, because women have not the degree of light and knowledge that their husbands have; they have not the power over their passions that their husbands have: therefore, they have to suffer one for another until they get power over themselves like unto those that have advanced more fully in the knowledge of our God." - President Lorenzo Snow, LDS Church, 1857 - At this time he had married 7 of his 9 wives
"My dad definitely encouraged me to question everything and love science and I always did so I'm sure that helped plant the seed for the oncoming shelf break." - Bri's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/supitsbreezy/
"There's so much I'm learning about the church after leaving, and so much I'm unlearning about the church's doctrine to better myself and my relationships everyday." - Bri's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/supitsbreezy/
"I never understood the belief of women being lower than men and having to 'submit' to them. I never understood the lack of diversity (until seminary at least). I never understood their problem with LGBT+ people." - Bri's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/supitsbreezy/
"I'm into art, music, modeling, and gaming! I was raised in the church by my grandmother, went to primary, YW, YW Camp, Seminary, Wednesday nights, etc! My mother and father's side are all Mormon except my father and I! I was a Mormon." - Bri's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/supitsbreezy/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/supitsbreezy/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!