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"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35 | wasmormon.org
"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I believe firmly in individualism. Be yourself, not who others want you to be. And one of the most important aspects of my life is informed consent. I believe in the importance of making choices for yourself and not believing what other people tell you and/or want you to believe. I am firmly agnostic and won't deny that God exists, but I do believe that the Mormon interpretation of God doesn't exist. I am also very sex-positive and believe in sexual liberation and freedom, and I know from experience and witness that sexual repression gets nowhere. As such, I fully endorse living your sex life the way you desire. Not someone else. Your body, your choice." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I believe firmly in individualism. Be yourself, not who others want you to be. And one of the most important aspects of my life is informed consent. I believe in the importance of making choices for yourself and not believing what other people tell you and/or want you to believe. I am firmly agnostic and won't deny that God exists, but I do believe that the Mormon interpretation of God doesn't exist. I am also very sex-positive and believe in sexual liberation and freedom, and I know from experience and witness that sexual repression gets nowhere. As such, I fully endorse living your sex life the way you desire. Not someone else. Your body, your choice." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Mormons think believe in a loving God. Even growing up I always believed Satan was a better character than God. God's love always felt conditional to some degree when I was growing up and now that I'm out I realize how conditional it actually is. The Mormon Jesus definitely isn't a loving God, but Mormons will for sure try to claim he is." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Mormons think believe in a loving God. Even growing up I always believed Satan was a better character than God. God's love always felt conditional to some degree when I was growing up and now that I'm out I realize how conditional it actually is. The Mormon Jesus definitely isn't a loving God, but Mormons will for sure try to claim he is." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I now know there's no chance of me ever finding happiness in the church, so now I decided to put the church behind me. I officially resigned from the church in June of 2024, the same month I drank my first cup of coffee. I have never been happier since leaving, and now I finally have a sense of control and direction in my life without some hocus-pocus religion telling me what and what not to do. I have never felt more liberated and in control of my life than I do now. I have since read the CES Letter, and now there is no chance of me EVER going back. I learned one very crucial rule about life: it gets better." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I now know there's no chance of me ever finding happiness in the church, so now I decided to put the church behind me. I officially resigned from the church in June of 2024, the same month I drank my first cup of coffee. I have never been happier since leaving, and now I finally have a sense of control and direction in my life without some hocus-pocus religion telling me what and what not to do. I have never felt more liberated and in control of my life than I do now. I have since read the CES Letter, and now there is no chance of me EVER going back. I learned one very crucial rule about life: it gets better." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I had a private one-on-one interview with my bishop over my bisexuality. One of my most embarrassing moments and I never want to live through something like that again. This conversation happened when I was a minor and I was not allowed to have my parents with me. I had a back-and-forth battle with my faith, and a gender identity crisis. My parents found out about it. And my shelf is completely broken." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I had a private one-on-one interview with my bishop over my bisexuality. One of my most embarrassing moments and I never want to live through something like that again. This conversation happened when I was a minor and I was not allowed to have my parents with me. I had a back-and-forth battle with my faith, and a gender identity crisis. My parents found out about it. And my shelf is completely broken." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Later, my niece lived with me. My primary teacher gave her a rock. She would put the rock under her pillow after she got home from school, to remind her to pray at night. After praying, she would put it on the floor, so it would stub her in the toe and remind her to pray in the morning. The idea of using physical harm to remind young children to pray, and doing it in such a way that the kids unknowingly consented to it, rubbed me the wrong way. And then my shelf started breaking." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Later, my niece lived with me. My primary teacher gave her a rock. She would put the rock under her pillow after she got home from school, to remind her to pray at night. After praying, she would put it on the floor, so it would stub her in the toe and remind her to pray in the morning. The idea of using physical harm to remind young children to pray, and doing it in such a way that the kids unknowingly consented to it, rubbed me the wrong way. And then my shelf started breaking." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I first made my way out of the church when I was about 11, after realizing how convenient the repentance system was. You could sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent. It was like a get out of jail free card. This made me ask a lot of questions, as I began seeing how far I could take this idea and pushed it as far as I could. All of a sudden, I had a lot more fun and felt happier when testing these waters." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I first made my way out of the church when I was about 11, after realizing how convenient the repentance system was. You could sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent. It was like a get out of jail free card. This made me ask a lot of questions, as I began seeing how far I could take this idea and pushed it as far as I could. All of a sudden, I had a lot more fun and felt happier when testing these waters." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I didn't know what was important, I didn't know who I was nor who I was meant to be. Everything was just extremely confusing. Despite this, I continued to hold on to the iron rod in the hopes that maybe I'd figure everything out. But I didn't." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I didn't know what was important, I didn't know who I was nor who I was meant to be. Everything was just extremely confusing. Despite this, I continued to hold on to the iron rod in the hopes that maybe I'd figure everything out. But I didn't." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I loved Boy Scouts, and always wanted to get my Eagle. I was genuinely devastated that they dropped the program. Throughout most of my time in the church, I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worthy of anything. I felt controlled. I felt like I was living someone else's life, and not my own. This ended up making my life and the world around me extremely confusing, and I didn't really know how to maneuver my way through life." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I loved Boy Scouts, and always wanted to get my Eagle. I was genuinely devastated that they dropped the program. Throughout most of my time in the church, I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worthy of anything. I felt controlled. I felt like I was living someone else's life, and not my own. This ended up making my life and the world around me extremely confusing, and I didn't really know how to maneuver my way through life." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Hi, I'm Jacob! I'm a lover of geography, tokusatsu, Deadpool, and music. I'm 19, I love traveling and learning about other cultures. I was born into the church, with ancestry from Wilford Woodruff and dozens of people on the Utah Expedition. Pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family was and is an active and practicing Mormon. I was baptized when I was 8, I attended seminary, and I did my best to keep the commandments and to keep the sabbath day holy. Growing up, I was a very firm believer in the church. I was a Mormon." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Hi, I'm Jacob! I'm a lover of geography, tokusatsu, Deadpool, and music. I'm 19, I love traveling and learning about other cultures. I was born into the church, with ancestry from Wilford Woodruff and dozens of people on the Utah Expedition. Pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family was and is an active and practicing Mormon. I was baptized when I was 8, I attended seminary, and I did my best to keep the commandments and to keep the sabbath day holy. Growing up, I was a very firm believer in the church. I was a Mormon." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
“God reveals to His prophets that there are moral absolutes. Sin will always be sin. Disobedience to the Lord’s commandments will always deprive us of His blessings. The world changes constantly and dramatically, but God, His commandments, and promised blessings do not change. They are immutable and unchanging.” - L. Tom Perry, LDS Apostle, April 2013 General Conference | wasmormon.org
“God reveals to His prophets that there are moral absolutes. Sin will always be sin. Disobedience to the Lord’s commandments will always deprive us of His blessings. The world changes constantly and dramatically, but God, His commandments, and promised blessings do not change. They are immutable and unchanging.” - L. Tom Perry, LDS Apostle, April 2013 General Conference
“The Lord’s commandments are of two types: permanent, like the doctrine of Christ, and temporary. Temporary commandments are those necessary for the needs of the Lord’s Church or the faithful in temporary circumstances, but to be set aside when the need has passed. Though only temporary, when still in force these commandments were given to be obeyed.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, October 2024 General Conference | wasmormon.org
“The Lord’s commandments are of two types: permanent, like the doctrine of Christ, and temporary. Temporary commandments are those necessary for the needs of the Lord’s Church or the faithful in temporary circumstances, but to be set aside when the need has passed. Though only temporary, when still in force these commandments were given to be obeyed.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, October 2024 General Conference
“As to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which the series inaccurately portrays as reflective of a whole faith group, the church has long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy. It has also taken significant steps to uncover and share the full truth of what happened and promote healing.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm | wasmormon.org
“As to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which the series inaccurately portrays as reflective of a whole faith group, the church has long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy. It has also taken significant steps to uncover and share the full truth of what happened and promote healing.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm
“A recently released streaming series presents a fictionalized interpretation of events in mid-19th century Utah. While historical fiction can be illuminating, this drama is dangerously misleading. Brigham Young, a revered prophet and courageous pioneer, is, by any historical standard, egregiously mischaracterized as a villainous, violent fanatic. Other individuals and groups are also depicted in ways that reinforce stereotypes that are both inaccurate and harmful.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm - Kim Coates as Brigham Young, in the Netflix series, American Primeval | wasmormon.org
“A recently released streaming series presents a fictionalized interpretation of events in mid-19th century Utah. While historical fiction can be illuminating, this drama is dangerously misleading. Brigham Young, a revered prophet and courageous pioneer, is, by any historical standard, egregiously mischaracterized as a villainous, violent fanatic. Other individuals and groups are also depicted in ways that reinforce stereotypes that are both inaccurate and harmful.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm - Kim Coates as Brigham Young, in the Netflix series, American Primeval
"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies | wasmormon.org
"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Eventually, it got to the point where I was passively ready to die at any moment. I was slowly losing my faith, sneaking onto the internet at night and doing research into church policies, exmormom accounts, history. Sometimes it got to be too much and I would log off and try to repent, but that never stopped the "what ifs" and the "whys" running through my head. I was miserable, I was suffering. Why was God doing this to me?" - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Eventually, it got to the point where I was passively ready to die at any moment. I was slowly losing my faith, sneaking onto the internet at night and doing research into church policies, exmormom accounts, history. Sometimes it got to be too much and I would log off and try to repent, but that never stopped the "what ifs" and the "whys" running through my head. I was miserable, I was suffering. Why was God doing this to me?" - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"When I was 15, a girl who was a member of my ward and who went to my school, a girl I thought was my friend, had found out from someone else that I was trans and that I was dating a girl. She waited until a day I was sick and not at church and told my parents everything. My home life got significantly worse afterwards." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"When I was 15, a girl who was a member of my ward and who went to my school, a girl I thought was my friend, had found out from someone else that I was trans and that I was dating a girl. She waited until a day I was sick and not at church and told my parents everything. My home life got significantly worse afterwards." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"The next morning at school, I told two of my closest friends I thought I was trans. That really was the beginning of the end. Instinctively, I knew I couldn't tell anyone at church or anyone in my family. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was trying desperately to reconcile my faith with my newfound identity. I was a firm believer in God, in Joseph Smith's righteousness, in my duty to spread the good word. I did everything to remain a devout follower and prove to myself it wasn't a sin to be Mormon AND trans." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"The next morning at school, I told two of my closest friends I thought I was trans. That really was the beginning of the end. Instinctively, I knew I couldn't tell anyone at church or anyone in my family. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was trying desperately to reconcile my faith with my newfound identity. I was a firm believer in God, in Joseph Smith's righteousness, in my duty to spread the good word. I did everything to remain a devout follower and prove to myself it wasn't a sin to be Mormon AND trans." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Leading up to this period of my life, I realized I was bisexual. A year later, I heard the word "transgender" for the first time. It changed everything. Secretly finding out the password to our family computer, I snuck on in the middle of the night and Googled "transgender", "transgender man", "can you be transgender without a surgery", "if i'm a girl can I be a transgender man", for hours I was locked onto the computer screen, reading people explain feelings I had pushed away as the devil speaking to me for ages. It all clicked. I cleared the browsing history, logged out, and went back to bed." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Leading up to this period of my life, I realized I was bisexual. A year later, I heard the word "transgender" for the first time. It changed everything. Secretly finding out the password to our family computer, I snuck on in the middle of the night and Googled "transgender", "transgender man", "can you be transgender without a surgery", "if i'm a girl can I be a transgender man", for hours I was locked onto the computer screen, reading people explain feelings I had pushed away as the devil speaking to me for ages. It all clicked. I cleared the browsing history, logged out, and went back to bed." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Basically, my life was one constant anxiety attack. I lived in a blur, too caught up in my own head to take notice of what was going on around me. To this day, I can hardly remember what elementary, middle, or high school was like, but I can remember exact anxieties I would have. I left because I had tried to kill myself." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Basically, my life was one constant anxiety attack. I lived in a blur, too caught up in my own head to take notice of what was going on around me. To this day, I can hardly remember what elementary, middle, or high school was like, but I can remember exact anxieties I would have. I left because I had tried to kill myself." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I was at the church doing something almost every day of the week. Despite always being in the house of the Lord, I never felt His presence. I was riddled with anxiety every waking moment since well before I was baptized. Being Mormon taught me that even thinking bad thoughts was a sin. If I had an unkind thought or I accidentally saw something my mom would disapprove of, I would panic and try to erase it as fast as I could before God found out. My anxieties only grew with age: when I was told that I was apart of the "chosen generation" or that we would see the second coming in our lifetime, I would panic about the end of the world." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I was at the church doing something almost every day of the week. Despite always being in the house of the Lord, I never felt His presence. I was riddled with anxiety every waking moment since well before I was baptized. Being Mormon taught me that even thinking bad thoughts was a sin. If I had an unkind thought or I accidentally saw something my mom would disapprove of, I would panic and try to erase it as fast as I could before God found out. My anxieties only grew with age: when I was told that I was apart of the "chosen generation" or that we would see the second coming in our lifetime, I would panic about the end of the world." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I work with dogs. I am a trans man married to a fellow trans man. I grew up with a lifelong LDS mom (from generations of Mormons) and a convert dad (he converted because of drug and alcohol recovery in his youth). It was a very strict upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I work with dogs. I am a trans man married to a fellow trans man. I grew up with a lifelong LDS mom (from generations of Mormons) and a convert dad (he converted because of drug and alcohol recovery in his youth). It was a very strict upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I had a missionary ask me once if I would give my life for the Church. I said, “Elder, I am giving my life for the Church.” I know what he meant. What he meant was, “Would you die for it?” Well, that’s the easy part. That’s a snap! On some days it looks really appealing. That’s the easy part, to die for it. Well, what God needs is people who will live for it, people who will go the distance, people who are in this race we’re talking about that will go all the way to the tape. And some may die along the way and that’s wonderful, but He needs people who will finish the work." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"I had a missionary ask me once if I would give my life for the Church. I said, “Elder, I am giving my life for the Church.” I know what he meant. What he meant was, “Would you die for it?” Well, that’s the easy part. That’s a snap! On some days it looks really appealing. That’s the easy part, to die for it. Well, what God needs is people who will live for it, people who will go the distance, people who are in this race we’re talking about that will go all the way to the tape. And some may die along the way and that’s wonderful, but He needs people who will finish the work." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
"We want you to run all the way, every day, every step until this is over. To give the Lord a full 24-month or 18-month mission, for your sake, for the church’s sake, for integrity’s sake, for the prophet’s sake... We don’t want you to ruin your health. We just want two years from you. We just want 18 months from you. So start now. Just don’t look back. Just put your face to the sun and put your shoulder into this work, and give it everything you’ve got and savor every day." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"We want you to run all the way, every day, every step until this is over. To give the Lord a full 24-month or 18-month mission, for your sake, for the church’s sake, for integrity’s sake, for the prophet’s sake... We don’t want you to ruin your health. We just want two years from you. We just want 18 months from you. So start now. Just don’t look back. Just put your face to the sun and put your shoulder into this work, and give it everything you’ve got and savor every day." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
"If there is anyone in the room who’s struggling with a testimony, you have one — mine! I’m giving my life to this. You’re giving two years. I’m giving my life! Everything I own, everything I possess is on the line. I would not come tell you a fairy tale. I wouldn’t wear myself into the ground, nor would President Hinckley do the same for something we did not know beyond a shadow of a doubt was God’s almighty truth! Give me a little more credit than that! I’m not an absolutely stupid man. This is the truth! And I’m giving everything that I know to give for that declaration." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"If there is anyone in the room who’s struggling with a testimony, you have one — mine! I’m giving my life to this. You’re giving two years. I’m giving my life! Everything I own, everything I possess is on the line. I would not come tell you a fairy tale. I wouldn’t wear myself into the ground, nor would President Hinckley do the same for something we did not know beyond a shadow of a doubt was God’s almighty truth! Give me a little more credit than that! I’m not an absolutely stupid man. This is the truth! And I’m giving everything that I know to give for that declaration." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
Now if anyone wants to go home, talk to me. I will not let you! I will throw my life before the barred door. I have chains in every room. I have skyhooks and cables. I have things you’ve never seen before. If you think President Palmer’s tough on you, you haven’t seen anything yet! If you have any feeling about going home, you cannot. You must not... I would do anything to keep a missionary in the mission field. I would hang on, I would grab your leg, I would twist your ankle, I would put a full nelson and a judo chop, and whatever it takes. I would make an absolute fool out of myself, which is about what I’m describing, just to have you know how much it matters. - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"Now if anyone wants to go home, talk to me. I will not let you! I will throw my life before the barred door. I have chains in every room. I have skyhooks and cables. I have things you’ve never seen before. If you think President Palmer’s tough on you, you haven’t seen anything yet! If you have any feeling about going home, you cannot. You must not... I would do anything to keep a missionary in the mission field. I would hang on, I would grab your leg, I would twist your ankle, I would put a full nelson and a judo chop, and whatever it takes. I would make an absolute fool out of myself, which is about what I’m describing, just to have you know how much it matters." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
"Meetinghouses of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also have been made available for community staging and shelter." - Deseret News | January 10, 2025. What do they mean by shelter? Discussions on Reddit meanwhile reveal that no one has been able to verify a single LDS chapel being used as a shelter. These meeting houses are not available or listed on any official shelter lists by government agencies or other news outlets. This isn’t the first time the church has been accused of inflating its charitable efforts for publicity.
"Meetinghouses of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also have been made available for community staging and shelter." - Deseret News | January 10, 2025. What do they mean by shelter? Discussions on Reddit meanwhile reveal that no one has been able to verify a single LDS chapel being used as a shelter. These meeting houses are not available or listed on any official shelter lists by government agencies or other news outlets. This isn’t the first time the church has been accused of inflating its charitable efforts for publicity.
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
One can speculate that the god of Mormonism is testing my faith. Perhaps this is true, but the cards are still stacked against me. Any god who condemns me for the unfair situation resulting from his confusing arena is not a god worth worshiping. Why can God take time out of his day to bless my greasy pizza or help my neighbor find her car keys, but refuses to take time out of his day to answer questions that keep me from believing? Members are promised further light and knowledge in exchange for increased faith. Was my three decades of complete devotion not enough? Why, when I have a question, am I encouraged to just "focus on what I already know?" That doesn't answer my question and encourages me to ignore it. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
One can speculate that the god of Mormonism is testing my faith. Perhaps this is true, but the cards are still stacked against me. Any god who condemns me for the unfair situation resulting from his confusing arena is not a god worth worshiping. Why can God take time out of his day to bless my greasy pizza or help my neighbor find her car keys, but refuses to take time out of his day to answer questions that keep me from believing? Members are promised further light and knowledge in exchange for increased faith. Was my three decades of complete devotion not enough? Why, when I have a question, am I encouraged to just "focus on what I already know?" That doesn't answer my question and encourages me to ignore it. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
As a former member who was incredibly devout, I find it insulting and hurtful when I'm belittled simply because I no longer believe. I try hard to be respectful to all members of the church, but sometimes that kindness isn't reciprocated. Unfortunately the general leadership (and sometimes local members) will take it upon themselves to speak unkindly of those who've left the faith. Comments can range from name calling, or marginalizing former members by minimizing their experience and reasons for leaving. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
As a former member who was incredibly devout, I find it insulting and hurtful when I'm belittled simply because I no longer believe. I try hard to be respectful to all members of the church, but sometimes that kindness isn't reciprocated. Unfortunately the general leadership (and sometimes local members) will take it upon themselves to speak unkindly of those who've left the faith. Comments can range from name calling, or marginalizing former members by minimizing their experience and reasons for leaving. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
Much of what's discussed in the Gospel Topic Essays, Joseph Smith Papers, etc. were once described as "anti-mormon lies" by local and general leaders of the church. Discovering that those "anti-mormon lies" were true was heartbreaking because it meant that the church I'd grown to love had lied to me solely to protect its image. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
Much of what's discussed in the Gospel Topic Essays, Joseph Smith Papers, etc. were once described as "anti-mormon lies" by local and general leaders of the church. Discovering that those "anti-mormon lies" were true was heartbreaking because it meant that the church I'd grown to love had lied to me solely to protect its image. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
The SEC charges filed against the church in February of 2023 broke my shelf. The church collects tithing donations throughout the year to accommodate operating expenses and humanitarian aid throughout the world. According to the SEC filing, surplus tithes and offerings had been collected between the years of 1997 and 2019. These surplus tithes, when received, were invested through the investment entity of the church, Ensign Peak Advisors. In order to mislead faithful tithe payers, the church created 13 different shell companies to obfuscate the amount of their holdings and either failed to file federal forms or blatantly lied on federal forms. I do not believe that lying in the name of god is ever ok. No one is above the law, and anyone who claims divine authority to break the law is a danger and not to be trusted in things temporal or spiritual. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
The SEC charges filed against the church in February of 2023 broke my shelf. The church collects tithing donations throughout the year to accommodate operating expenses and humanitarian aid throughout the world. According to the SEC filing, surplus tithes and offerings had been collected between the years of 1997 and 2019. These surplus tithes, when received, were invested through the investment entity of the church, Ensign Peak Advisors. In order to mislead faithful tithe payers, the church created 13 different shell companies to obfuscate the amount of their holdings and either failed to file federal forms or blatantly lied on federal forms. I do not believe that lying in the name of god is ever ok. No one is above the law, and anyone who claims divine authority to break the law is a danger and not to be trusted in things temporal or spiritual. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
Navigating a faith crisis/transition can feel incredibly lonely for both the believing spouse and the non-believing spouse. As my wife and I navigated through my faith transition, we both felt a strong desire to reach out to those around us for guidance. I am so grateful that my wife and I were able to work through our differences. I do not believe that any healthy relationship should end because of a difference in religious affiliation. Contrary to what the president of the church (Russell Nelson) teaches, counseling with those of different beliefs can strengthen relationships of all types because it fosters empathy among all participants. No one should ever have to feel alone out of fear of nonacceptance. The Mormon church has been dishonest about many things from its history to ethical behaviors by the general leadership. Families should not be broken because of a global organization's dishonest behavior. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
Navigating a faith crisis/transition can feel incredibly lonely for both the believing spouse and the non-believing spouse. As my wife and I navigated through my faith transition, we both felt a strong desire to reach out to those around us for guidance. I am so grateful that my wife and I were able to work through our differences. I do not believe that any healthy relationship should end because of a difference in religious affiliation. Contrary to what the president of the church (Russell Nelson) teaches, counseling with those of different beliefs can strengthen relationships of all types because it fosters empathy among all participants. No one should ever have to feel alone out of fear of nonacceptance. The Mormon church has been dishonest about many things from its history to ethical behaviors by the general leadership. Families should not be broken because of a global organization's dishonest behavior. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I feared for the loss of my family. What would they think if they knew I no longer believed. I eventually reached a period of acceptance wherein I am happy and comfortable not knowing what comes next and have learned to more deeply appreciate what I have now (my family, etc.). I still travel back and forth between these stages. For this reason, I may still be angry at times, I may be content at times, I may be inquisitive at times, and I may be apathetic at times. My emotions are valid and matter. It can be hurtful when those who leave the religion are labeled as prideful, sinful, or lacking in faith. The best advice I can give to those deconstructing is to prove the unkind members wrong and not become the stereotype that they believe you to be. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I feared for the loss of my family. What would they think if they knew I no longer believed. I eventually reached a period of acceptance wherein I am happy and comfortable not knowing what comes next and have learned to more deeply appreciate what I have now (my family, etc.). I still travel back and forth between these stages. For this reason, I may still be angry at times, I may be content at times, I may be inquisitive at times, and I may be apathetic at times. My emotions are valid and matter. It can be hurtful when those who leave the religion are labeled as prideful, sinful, or lacking in faith. The best advice I can give to those deconstructing is to prove the unkind members wrong and not become the stereotype that they believe you to be. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
As my testimony shattered, I exhibited emotions of over-zealous behaviors and church activity in an effort to deny what I had discovered about the church and put the pieces of my testimony back together. I grew angry at the church for the dishonest history I had been spoon fed and the general unethical behavior by the general leadership of the church. I bargained with the Lord and pleaded for forgiveness because of my "blindness" and begged for the church to be true. I became incredibly depressed because I felt like I had lost my safety net and spiritual assurance that everything would be ok after I died. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
As my testimony shattered, I exhibited emotions of over-zealous behaviors and church activity in an effort to deny what I had discovered about the church and put the pieces of my testimony back together. I grew angry at the church for the dishonest history I had been spoon fed and the general unethical behavior by the general leadership of the church. I bargained with the Lord and pleaded for forgiveness because of my "blindness" and begged for the church to be true. I became incredibly depressed because I felt like I had lost my safety net and spiritual assurance that everything would be ok after I died. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I loved the church that was presented to me as a youth. I can remember the exact moment I obtained a testimony of the faith I was taught during childhood. The messaging was simple, and it made sense to me. As an adult, I came to realize that the church presented to me as a youth didn't match the picture of mormonism today. Between shifting doctrines, unethical behavior by the General Leadership, and hidden history of the church I came to realize that nothing about the church is what it claimed to be. The religion I'd loved as a youth simply didn't exist, and never had. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I loved the church that was presented to me as a youth. I can remember the exact moment I obtained a testimony of the faith I was taught during childhood. The messaging was simple, and it made sense to me. As an adult, I came to realize that the church presented to me as a youth didn't match the picture of mormonism today. Between shifting doctrines, unethical behavior by the General Leadership, and hidden history of the church I came to realize that nothing about the church is what it claimed to be. The religion I'd loved as a youth simply didn't exist, and never had. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I'm a husband, father, and amateur banjo player. I'm part of a mixed faith family. Although I no longer believe in the church, I still support my family's right to choose their own spiritual path. I enjoy camping traveling — I love my family. Serving my wife and children has become my source of spiritual rejuvenation. I was a Mormon. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
I'm a husband, father, and amateur banjo player. I'm part of a mixed faith family. Although I no longer believe in the church, I still support my family's right to choose their own spiritual path. I enjoy camping traveling — I love my family. Serving my wife and children has become my source of spiritual rejuvenation. I was a Mormon. - Curtis' "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/curtishartley/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmodad/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmodad/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
I wasn't going leave the LDS church until I heard His voice in my heart say, "You need to do this." I was going to just be undercover and not try to make waves, but physical courage is easier than moral courage. So here I am standing for the God of love. He has asked us to love everyone, especially those that are hard to love. I have my own beliefs and my own inner jewels. I don't need any man on earth to tell me what I can and cannot believe. I have one King, one Lord, one shepherd. He is the only "living prophet." I want to be His disciple and I want Him to rule my life. - Mike's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/mike/
I wasn't going leave the LDS church until I heard His voice in my heart say, "You need to do this." I was going to just be undercover and not try to make waves, but physical courage is easier than moral courage. So here I am standing for the God of love. He has asked us to love everyone, especially those that are hard to love. I have my own beliefs and my own inner jewels. I don't need any man on earth to tell me what I can and cannot believe. I have one King, one Lord, one shepherd. He is the only "living prophet." I want to be His disciple and I want Him to rule my life. - Mike's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/mike/
After the service, I asked God, "What should I do? Do I go to this church now?" God answered, "You belong to me now. You can worship me wherever you want". It's been 2 wonderful years of new birth. They have been amazing and expansive, seeing God's work and hand in all things, having many mighty miracles manifest in our lives. We are in awe of our God and King. This process likely won't work for anyone else if they duplicated it, but I am healed in the most miraculous way, and it's promised to all who take up their cross and follow Jesus. - Mike's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/mike/
After the service, I asked God, "What should I do? Do I go to this church now?" God answered, "You belong to me now. You can worship me wherever you want". It's been 2 wonderful years of new birth. They have been amazing and expansive, seeing God's work and hand in all things, having many mighty miracles manifest in our lives. We are in awe of our God and King. This process likely won't work for anyone else if they duplicated it, but I am healed in the most miraculous way, and it's promised to all who take up their cross and follow Jesus. - Mike's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/mike/