Yearly Archives: 2025

Bednar’s Evasive $300 Billion Answer Only Raises More Questions

In February 2025, the LDS Church released a new video featuring an interview with David A. Bednar at the Silicon Slopes Summit on September 28, 2023. The interview was conducted by Ryan Smith, Mormon billionaire, co-founder of Qualtrics, and owner of multiple professional sports teams, including the Utah Jazz (NBA), Utah Hockey Club (NHL), and …

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This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
I’m incredibly grateful to my spouse and my whole family for loving me and accepting me even as my beliefs have changed. My family is amazing. If you’re a faithful member reading this, please know that if you’re happy in the church - then I’m genuinely happy for you. I know we still share enough common values to foster mutual respect. I also know how troubling and confusing it can be when someone leaves your tribe. I’ll admit, I judged people who left before me. It was so much easier to tie a nice bow around their choice than to actually try and grapple with it. No one offended me. I don’t have an addiction. And I don’t feel like I’m betraying my integrity. I’m being true to my integrity and the values the church and my family instilled in me. I feel if I meet God tomorrow, he will understand that. If, like me a few years back, you’re starting to slip down a rabbit hole and aren’t sure where you’ll land, please know it’s all going to be ok and you're not alone! - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I’m incredibly grateful to my spouse and my whole family for loving me and accepting me even as my beliefs have changed. My family is amazing. If you’re a faithful member reading this, please know that if you’re happy in the church - then I’m genuinely happy for you. I know we still share enough common values to foster mutual respect. I also know how troubling and confusing it can be when someone leaves your tribe. I’ll admit, I judged people who left before me. It was so much easier to tie a nice bow around their choice than to actually try and grapple with it. No one offended me. I don’t have an addiction. And I don’t feel like I’m betraying my integrity. I’m being true to my integrity and the values the church and my family instilled in me. I feel if I meet God tomorrow, he will understand that. If, like me a few years back, you’re starting to slip down a rabbit hole and aren’t sure where you’ll land, please know it’s all going to be ok and you're not alone! - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit,September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church | wasmormon.org
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video | wasmormon.org
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video

Lilburn Boggs’ Extermination Order and Mormon War

The Mormon-Missouri War (1838) was a conflict between the Mormon settlers in Missouri and their non-Mormon neighbors, culminating in violent clashes, forced expulsions, and the infamous Missouri Executive Order 44, also known as the so-called “Extermination Order.” While the Mormon Church often portrays itself as the innocent victim of religious persecution, the historical reality is …

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“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838

Life Beyond Mormonism: 10 Books and Resources That Might Help

Stepping away from a faith tradition—especially one that touches every aspect of life like Mormonism—can be both liberating and disorienting. If you’re navigating this path, you’re not alone. Many individuals have documented their experiences, researched the history, and formed supportive communities. Below are books and resources that countless people have found helpful in understanding Mormonism’s …

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