What role does religion or spirituality play in your life now? What does it mean to you?

I identify as pagan. I could call myself a hellenic polytheist since both goddesses I worship are greek/hellenic, but I'd rather just call myself a pagan. I'm certainly not an expert on paganism but I try to learn as much about it as possible. It is a very big deal to me. I have secret "pocket altars" which I hide in my room, and I try to write in my prayer journal every night. My goddesses are so kind. I was once in the forest when a large swarm of mosquitoes started bothering me. I prayed to Gaia to make them go away, and when I opened my eyes they were gone. My spirituality makes me so happy and grateful for my existence. My self esteem is getting better, and every time I look in the mirror, I can think "wow, I'm beautiful. I am divine and worthy of my own love." without worrying about being prideful. It means so much to me.

amethystp

The one thing I clung to after Mormonism was a belief in "something." I don't accept that existence is meaningless or a random chance. There has to be a reason that there is Something instead of Nothing. Otherwise life is just an absurdity hanging over an abyss. Truth, Beauty, and Goodness are real.
So I started a 10-year search. In my reading and exploring I felt that the fundamental question that a religion had to answer was the Problem of Suffering. Why is there evil and suffering in the world? I found only 2 satisfactory answers, in Buddhism (transcend suffering) or in Christianity (embrace suffering). And of those 2, I found the Christian answer to be more compelling.
I also extensively studied Biblical scholarship--the real stuff, not pop theology or pop criticism. I learned to understand that the Bible is an anthology of writings, in various genres, and that it is not to be idolized. I also learned to think about it in new ways. And to see where and how it was supported by history.
This led me to the crisis point: did I accept the resurrection of Jesus as a real event? This was a leap of faith, of course, but God's grace led me to belief. And eventually, to join the Body of Christ as configured in the Catholic Church.
That is a very short summary of years of thinking, praying and struggling.