Is there only one way to be an ex-Mormon?

The majority of exmos lose all faith. My wife did. Mormonism really does a number on people.

You get to find your own path. And take your time. There is a big world out there. I spent 10 years exploring various faith traditions before choosing one. I was not sure I would choose a new faith. For a long time I figured on just doing my own thing, without an organization or a defined path. Eventually I decided that spirituality requires community, and I found a tradition that made sense to me and that matched my needs. I don't think it is "the one true church" or that it gets to lay claim to me--my brain, my time, my money--I have certain boundaries now, after Mormonism.

Some suggestions:

Don't assume that what Mormonism taught you is correct: about God, about Christianity, about scripture. There are other ways of thinking about God, about the Bible, about why we are here, etc. Be open to learning new ways of thinking.

Don't read one book and assume you have all the answers. Explore different viewpoints. Don't replace the Mormons telling you how to think with someone else telling you how to think.

It is a big world out there. Mormonism is so small and insignificant. My search passed through Taoism, Buddhism, Judaism, Universalism, and a variety of Christian options. I read history and Biblical scholarship and devotional texts. I attended a variety of services. Explore! It is fascinating, all the ways that humanity has expressed its desire for meaning and for community.

Many exmos feel anger, or bitterness. This is justified--we were lied to, exploited, abused by an organization that claimed to represent God and goodness. Feel those feelings if you need to. But keep in mind that they *did not represent God*. Don't let their lies and abuses cut you off from the real goodness that is out there.

frank profile image for wasmormon.orgfrank

There’s an infinite amount of ways to be ex Mormon. Whether you switch religions to Protestant or Islam, or become an atheist like me. Whether you leave it behind and not look back or you reach a hand out to help those wanting to leave. There’s no one way to be it.

Ian Harward profile image for wasmormon.orggreensockninja