Hello, I'm Teddi.
I was a mormon.
As most members of the mormon church, I participated in 'volunteer' positions since I was a teenager. I taught Sunday School, Relief Society, and Young Women, and I particularly liked teaching Gospel Docrine classes.
When I was 20, I went on a mission. I year later, I married in the Payson, Utah mormon temple. I almost made it through the mormon life checklist!
I sincerely believed the Mormon theology. I had experiences that made me feel I knew it was true. I did all the 'should's' and avoided the 'shouldn't's'. If I did a shouldn't, I felt guilt and shame and would repent.
Today, my life is worlds different than I dreamed it could be (in the best ways). I wouldn't have been able to dream up a marriage and life outside the "temple marriage" structure I saw my whole life. I thought if I stopped living the teachings and rules, my life would fall apart, and I'd never be happy again.
Becoming disillusioned was painful. I consider myself extraordinarily lucky to have my spouse and my family be with me through the hardest thing I've ever done. Healing is ongoing, and yet, I have the peace I yearned for that faith never afforded me.
The world is big and new. Somedays, it can be a little scary out of the mormon bubble- but I am so glad to be living life according to the dictates of my conscience. I'm so glad I can act and live congruent with my values.