Hi, I'm Jacob Connolly

I was raised in the church but honestly never really cared to much to dig deep into the doctrine or ethics. In short, I sinned, resulting in nine months of me trying to complete a repentance process assigned by my bishop after talking with him, beginning at the age of 15 and ending when i was 16. At this time, I told my parents they could force me to go becuase I was a minor and there was very little I could do about it, but I wasnt interested in their church, and I didn't beleive in god. I remained PIMO for two more years, and it was constantly a mental battle. I struggled to feel accepted at church and in my own home. My parents set up a ride to school for me via carpool in the mornings, but the car stopped at the seminary building where I would zone out for an hour at 6AM every day. With much resentment in my heart towards the church, I moved out shortly after turning 18, at which time, I never went to church again, besides very special occassion in which I would just sit through sacrament. I struggle to not lash out against the church when I see their twisted messages claiming I'm going to hell when all I did was try to do the right thing. It permantently damaged who I am and how I think of myself and my actions, and everyday I'm trying to forgive and empower myself so I can enjoy a life of freedom and contentment. While I am much better thesedays (20) I do fear that I will never have a family that I can come home to and feel connected with, and its hard to meet people who have gone through similar expriences to me. All in all though, I'm glad I left when I did, I feel especially sorry for those who completed full missions and even got married in the church before finding out it's flawed and contradictory doctrine.