Hi, I'm Shawn Matheson

Lifelong member of the LDS church, until my 2021 resignation.

Knowledge/study/prayer helped me to discern past and present issues.

It took courage to separate from a doctrinally absolute, socially-integrated church; I've lived in Utah most of my life and the LDS church was a strong component of my self-identity, family, social structure, and belief system.

I had a beautiful walk with Community of Christ for two years. I really respect what they've done with the restoration root and who they've become. I am so appreciative of Pastor John Hamer of the Toronto Beyond the Walls (online) congregation. Community of Christ and John Hamer provided me a safe restoration space to transition out of Mormonism. I saw parallels in my own journey to that of Community of Christ's, which has been willing to address the uncomfortable history and present issues. I experienced church community with a beautiful group of people, many of whom had also had their own faith transitions out of the LDS church.

I'm now non-church affiliated and more of a universalist; I appreciate all teachings and traditions. I align with Christ Consciousness. Mormonism will always be part of me for what I learned and experienced.

I find beautiful harmony (no separation) in simplicity and universality. I love what I have learned in Christian (spiritualistic, one'ness), Judaism (transcendence, God without a body, rites which inspired Christian writers: mikveh, temple, Passover), Hinduism (karma, growth, cycles, patience, inner peace), Taoism (such a perfect antidote for me to unlearn Western literalism and centralized authority, i.e. it's the lessons to walk the middle of the black/white, yin/yang s-curved cyclical path, go with the water flow, cut with the grain, don't take yourself too seriously, be unassuming like a crooked tree, they don't get cut down), Buddhist (beautiful philosophical way of living, ending suffering and attachment), Sikh (honor, service to the underserved, cleanliness, being at peace with all), Sufi Islamic (renunciation of materials, mystical contemplation of God), Gnostic (spiritualistic view of Jesus in his contemporary time, squelched by Pauline Christians), Stoic (virtue, knowledge, living in harmony with Divine reason), and other traditional texts and practices. Religious teachings are all congruent and beautiful harmony at their core-essence (without churches trying to claim exclusivity of knowledge or authority).

I also love the experiences I've had in modern books/podcasts of MindValley (Vishen Lakani, free podcasts from top minds in self-transformation), Deepak Chopra (quantum), Sri Preethaji (Four Sacred Truths), Thich Nhat Hanh (such simplicity and practicality), Eckhart Tolle (he has a great way of wrapping all together), Terrence McKenna (plant medicine for spiritual practice), Esther Weaver / Abraham (manifestation, transmutation), Colette Streicher (MAP Method, neuro reprogramming of a negative to a positive), Dr Carl Totten (What's This Tao All About?, he really makes philosophical Taoism so approachable and fun), Rumi (piercingly simple poetry), Pastor John Hamer of Community of Christ (spiritual vs literal, using contextual history and literary analysis and reason, being good with the spiritualistic value, i.e. deconstruction doesn't have to be demolition), Deloris Cannon (Quantum Healing), Sadhguru (such sage simplicity), Allen Watts (seeing religion for what it is, and he's someone introduced me to Taoism, Buddhism, and Hinduism), Asha Nayaswami (she is such a clear and pure teacher of warmth and wisdom), Dr. Joe Dispenza (law of attraction, retraining the sub-conscious), kellymagicalmediumbrey (star seed boy and his mother, such simple and beautiful insights), Next Level Soul podcast (so many guests), John the New (amazing and unique views of Jesus), etc. I have decades more of learning/experiencing ... my learning list will go on!

It's SO liberating these last few years to allow myself to be open to content and ideas outside of one church! I've been like a kid in a candy shop!

I appreciate and value all expansive spiritual learning and experiences ... which help me flow in one'ness. I'm simply now expanding and leaning in, being present with where I am. I used to have all the answers when I was Mormon (haha, my ego, that was fun too). Now I am comfortable in the fun and engaging nature of questions, and understanding more I'm more open to nuance and common thread.

Life is a playful dance with people in various roles -- and awareness of this consciousness-stage makes it that much more fun! Seeing life as a play or creative matrix is not to trivialize it, but empowering to know that I am the writer and co-creator of my own experiences! I now look inward and directly to God/Source, simply being one in vibration with whatever it is I want to know about or experience. Life is a magical experience in emotions!

God is perfect love, and downloads into our experiences what we believe is true (i.e. what we are vibrationally putting out ... returns to us). Call it Law of Attraction, Manifestation, Faith, Belief, Self-Fulfilment or what you'd like!

Supporting this, I love what Jesus taught when he said that the kingdom of heaven is within you (Luke 17:21); all things are possible to those who believe (Mark 9:23); all things whatsoever you ask in faith, nothing wavering, you will receive; the works that I do shall you shall do also, and greater works than these shall you do ( John 14:12); Matthew 17:20-21 if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move this mountain.

And a couple similar modern quotes: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right!" (Henry Ford); "Words without thoughts remain below, never to heaven go" (Shakespeare). John the New has amazing insights and material on this, it's really coalesced my feelings. Nothing is impossible for us, we are endless, and what is potential, already exists within!

We create our own realities with our beliefs (often self-limiting). For example, for 40 something years I believed the Mormon church to be the only true church --- because that's the belief I created, which downloaded to my experience as my reality (what I used to call my "testimony"), and I heard the echo chambers and felt what I wanted. Similarly then in faith transition, I wanted to see the truth behind the Mormon-Oz curtain and I was willing to look painfully inside myself at my own dark places, and that's the dark cave and subsequent refining fire I walked through ... shedding my fastened fears and dogmatic dross (products of my mind and ego), such that I now see things in a different light and I've evolved as a person in these respects.

Differently said, we all have our own truths based on our beliefs, and our sacred beliefs (religious, political, etc.) can be like sacred cows if we let them get that extreme! We all have ideas that appeal to us. We should not try and convert anyone to our beliefs, but rather we should ask questions of others' experiences, so we can better learn and love. We are all beautiful expressions!

When we love as God loves, unconditionally like a parent for a child or a child for anyone, we experience one'ness, or Christ Consciousness, Bliss (Hindu), Nirvana (Buddhist), Mukti (Sikh), etc. Most importantly, that is not a future state, but a present, because there is no time and space outside of our 3-dimmensional reality, thus, all is in the present moment, or quantum field of simultaneous. Heaven is here and now!

Studying some on quantum, as well as law of manifestation and attraction (Jesus' teaching for example on faith), has helped me understand better the kaleidoscope-nature of simultaneous presence, and downloading our higher-self into our present moment. Athletes do this same method in a type of sport psychology, seeing/feeling clearly the play, the moment, etc. like it's real and already here (timeless).

There is the all-inclusive nature of duality, yin and yang, light and darkness in coupling, balance and interdependence, all-in-one, all frequencies existing --- and there is an observational and creative space of neutrality and balance in-between that curve (where God/All Source is). It's a place without striving, it just is, where all is. When there is a push in our earthly dimension in one extreme, the other extreme offsets. The space between that yin-yang s-curve is the space of stillness, the space between breath, the space of neutrality where everything exists, the All-Seeing-Eye.

As you can see my understanding of God has developed (I no longer limit God to something in my image, that is something created for comfortable association).

I believe God lets us create and has pledged non-interference, individual agency, and co-creation -- and that is Ultimate Love. Everything returns to us as needed for growth. For example, what lessons would a bully need to learn, perhaps that of being a victim in a future state? Would that cycle of the bully's suffering not repeat until the lesson is learned?

We have to move into fear-based caves to find light. Mine was a Mormon cave, thinking if I left I'd be eternally damned. I was like a frog living in a well looking at the sky, thinking that was the whole sky. But moving outside of comfort zone expands our knowledge and perspective and helps us better understand our experience. In my Mormon world I was like fish living in a two-dimensional fish bowl, thinking this is all that is, and to a fish there is no concept of water until there is a different dimension of introduced understanding and experience.

I now understand that the concept of linear time is limited to this three dimensional space, and that in fact there is no time, so in our lexicon we can say that we have all the time we need. We can learn from our experience, and a learning mode is not just knowledge, but contrast and what we perceive as discomfort (secondary to fear and attachment).

Differently said, it's the yoga of knowledge (didactic) and the yoga of action (experiential) which teach us. It can be (was for me) very uncomfortable to learn that what we thought to be absolute and true is MUCH more nuanced, and of course life itself throws us discomfort and contrast. And that's the way it is for us all. Realizing that everything is a flow of energy helped me realize both transmutation and impermanence -- yet all is being, experiencing and everlasting.

Each of us create our own realities by what we believe and put in motion, like a magnetic mirror of energy we put out, downloading back to our experience.

I think of this life like a dream in that respect, which does not trivialize my life experience, it just that cool fact that I am the script writer, director, and actor of my own scenes -- and my present reality is what I have already put into motion. So, I changed my Mormon reality and I am an evolved and different person now. I'm not the same person I used to be. Everything is a quantum qubit and connectedness of this present moment (no separation). We co-create with God (we are God Essence, the Creator is never separated from the Created), and we turn the possible into actual by way of our beliefs and actions. And our knowledge and actions can both limit and liberate us.

God is the Glue of it All. God is in You, Me, Everything. There is no separation. We choose what vibration we attune to, and it comes about as our reality to what we experience. We can stay in whatever vibrational state (listen and believe) we want for as long as we'd like. It's all experience and all choices are valid, because all experiences teach us.

There are no right and wrong answers for me anymore, there are just experiences with consequences. For me it's easier now to see the matrix/dream/dance/play/life for what it is (a beautiful dharma of creative, experiential playground, set to our intentions/soundtrack). And it's easier for me now to just set my intention and let things flow how the universe chooses to create that experience for me. But I know that I'm the creator of my reality and I get to intentionalize and go with the flow.

My 40 something years in Mormonism was high-spike energy, as it's a really strong sauce version (theologically and socially) of religion. And similarly in deconstruction, it was the opposite directional spike for me on the energetic curve, me going through mental and emotional pain. The Buddha taught that what we are attached to (our ideas, our religious dogmas), we suffer from. Jesus similarly taught about the lilies of the field and the birds of the sky, how they toil not or think not for tomorrow. Lao Tzu talked about walking the middle path (middle of the s-curve). I believe these sages were teaching us to not take ourselves or ideas to too seriously, and that we can experience something simply by observing it and experiencing it without judgement. I have a saying, "Observe, not absorb." As Sadhguru says, "You are not that experience, it's just something your experienced." In the same lesson of agnostic observation, I've also learned that radical forgiveness (empathy) (being grateful for the experience), elevates our vibration and makes us un-fu*k-withable!

Mormonism was my vibration and soundtrack/jam for a long time, but then I grew tired of uniform, breathy, somber Sounds of Sunday music. And funny thing is, musical exploration was a key part of my faith expansion! From MoTab and JKP to Sikh, to Islamic Sufi, to Christian Evangelical, to Buddhist Zen, to Taoist, to Hindu, to ambient/chill/vibrational, Hz/Solfeggio/binaural ambient/meditation ... that's been my spiritual playlist, in that order! Music is such a powerful tool for vibrational transformation!

I've observed that religions and churches are codified belief systems (councils of past dudes, usually with a high bend on authority, with a particular set of observances and rites (Mormonism certainly has some unique temple rites, and Christianity has some unique rituals that others find odd). Religions by nature are credal/doctrinal, dogmatic (incontrovertibly true, that is until that policy or doctrine changes with the times :)), legalistic (rules to be a member), literalistic (mythical stories from thousands of years ago believed to be actual events), absolutist (our way is the only way), and gaslighting (we'll soft or hard shun you if you ask uncomfortable questions or bring uncomfortable question to light). Religions can also stratify people unnecessarily (us vs them) ... when in fact we are all one. Churches love being exclusively right and authoritative -- but there is no such thing unless we make it that way in our mind, there is only experience.

Religions are good for having a sense of community, cultural identify, teaching good morals (mostly, some churches like the one I was in are still very behind socially and still very stuck on their own teachings and self-made authority), and taking care of each other. But I'd argue that religions can be both helpful and harmful, and the goods of a religion or church are mutually exclusive of the religion or church authority. Values are irrespective of religion or churches, as evidenced by people in and out of those churches living responsible or irresponsible lives. We don't need a church of 15 old men in Salt Lake City to guide us ... we can simply trust ourselves and trust God.

True communication and devotion of Love with God is in the intentions and vibrations of our heart, loving for Love's sakes, doing good for Good's sake (for the love and want of the reason itself), i.e. loving ourselves and all that is.

If you are looking for a summarized Mormon deconstruction, I have hundreds of pages of notes by topic and I'm happy to share with you (I had to mentally unpackage things first). But a quick and revealing shortcut to Mormon deconstruction is missedinsunday.com/ (navigation by topic in upper right, so easy to quickly see the verbal foibles of the leaders and the doctrinal missteps). and of course you can find great deconstruction information in more depth at cesletter.org/ or letterformywife.com/ or mormonstories.org/truth-claims/ etc. Mormon Stories also has a great series of articles in their Truth Claims section. Information from source documents is now readily available in this information age and allows us to better see present issues -- but we have to be willing to hear and see, i.e. to read, ponder and pray.

The information age is here and the church can't run from its history or legacy-present issues anymore (the "Oz Factor"). The art of illusion ("pay no attention to any content other than what the church correlates and publishes") or the art of control and fear, ("the worst thing you can do is leave this church," or "Satan will trade you 1 lie for 99 truths," "you will be burned at the second coming if you don't pay your tithing' --Russel M Nelson), does not work as well in the information age of original documents scanned, nor does it work with people willing to learn and see.

The yoga of Right Knowledge is liberation and reality (and a tough-as-hell pill to swallow, but believe me, it feels good to know and to see things clearly, even if it does come with social consequences of discomfort) + the yoga of Right Action = the fun of life ... like a library and experience we want to learn and lean into!!

The Mormon church taught me many good principles and I experienced a beautiful faith community that supports each other and is very family focused. I had great experiences with members in the church and I have great memories growing up, as well as great experiences with callings and interactions with fellow members in my adult life. The LDS church has many great aspects to it, and it fed and enriched me, like a comfortable shell.

And the LDS church is a place where I observed misogyny, racism, homophobia, religious piety, and abuse of authority. It took me awhile to see it for what it was, as most information on the church did not come out until the 2010s, and I had to be willing to vulnerably look, as I was so attached to that church and to my identification with it. I was so socially and emotionally programmed as a lifelong member to never question the church or its leaders. It's hard to undo decades of programming, especially when it's tied to your social world.

I was guilted and shamed with fear (such powerful weapons on a human), told that the worst thing I could ever do was leave the church, that it would be to the eternal damnation of my soul and the detriment of my posterity, and generations of their actions would be upon my shoulders. I was told that while church leaders are human and they make mistakes they could never lead the church "ASTRAY," as God would not allow it.

Mormonism was a past place where I was only to follow the counsel of my leaders, where obedience was treasured more than reason, and I was only to read from church-correlated material if it had to do with the church or its teachings. The Mormon church was a constant testimony meeting of echo chamber. And so I believed it, I made it my reality and my truth story, and I created those special feelings and called it a testimony. I got to experience strong sauce religion in this lifetime!

Well, my eyes and heart are now open and I see through Mormonism's glass clearly! I see the LDS church's past polygamy, past racial prohibition of blacks from the priesthood, along with its remaining current issues in misogyny, and the dangerous present rhetoric on LGBTQ (and other problems in the church) -- and I see the definition of "ASTRAY." Indeed, Mormon prophets and apostles have and do lead people astray (if nothing else by keeping you thinking that you need them and the church for your very salvation).

For me the last straw and moment of realization, the moment where I realized my Mormon shelf of things I'd put on it and ignored or reasoned away was now broken, was listening to President Jeffrey R Holland counseling BYU faculty members in August of 2021 to defend the church's LBTQ policy with "musket fire." Apostle Holland used the violent words "musket fire" seven times in that talk. I realized in that sentinel, clarion moment that my membership itself in such a church is a reflection of my personal ethos and what I value.

I realized that my values were no longer a good fit for the LDS church's values:

I value transparency, owning my mistakes and apologizing (and the LDS church has hidden its history, facts surrounding its truth claims, and does not apologize). It's tricky for the LDS church to apologize, as it would cast doubt on their claim that their prophets speak for God.

I value social equality and inclusivity (and the LDS church has a sad experience with misogyny, racism, and non LTBTQ-inclusion).

I value non-violence (and the LDS church has a sad history, I could make a whole entry on that, but what was most concerning for me was the counsel given at present by President Jeffrey R Holland in 2021 when he called for "musket fire" to defend the church's LGBTQ policy.

I had grown to a point in 2021 where I had both pulled the Oz curtain back on the LDS church's truth claims (I have years of research), and I had socially evolved. I knew that my values no longer aligned with the values of the LDS church.

I realized that I had outgrown my Mormon shell, and like a chick I knew it was time to break out, trust myself and grow. I knew there would be social consequence (and there were). I'm grateful to have broken my Mormon chain, which I did in-part to give my girls a sense for their own freedom and inner authority -- and it's been amazing to see them grow free of religious dogma and fear.

For those who know LDS culture, you'll appreciate what a difficult social consequence of soft shunning and gaslighting it is to leave Mormonism. I'll not speak of my family interactions here, other than to say they have good intentions and I love them for who they are. I empathize with them, because I used to think in the same way -- so I understand.

I'm not mad at the Mormon church for hiding their true and full history from me, nor am I mad at anyone in the church. Experiential learning and contrast are how we learn. I also believe in the soul and in our soul-contract, so how could I be mad at an organization or something I chose to be part of? Mormonism is a unique religious expression, and I learned from it ... like a lesson module in my soul's journey. I had the full Mormon experience, and I learned and gained a lot from that lesson module!

I am my own Mormon pioneer. I broke my Mormon mold, which benefited me and my family.

I've had non-LDS coworkers say they don't understand how leaving a church is such a big deal (and that's the very point of the Mormon or any strong-sauce church). To those who have been immersed in Mormon culture you know what that socially means. It ranges from soft shunning to more. But I didn't care what anyone else thought of me, I only cared about my wife's feelings (I would not have left if she wasn't good with it, I value her more than I do a church or anything). Gratefully Angie supported me, and she has her own faith journey and space which I greatly respect.

I cannot be more blessed than to have Angie as my partner; she has always let me be in my religious and spiritual space, whatever it was at the time. Angie is a great example of someone who discerned truth for herself and has no need to make public declarations. I say that she detached without being attached to detachment! Our girls have their own spiritual journeys, and it warms my heart to see them grow and to know they're free from religious dogma and entwined caste.

To give a few analogies, when I resigned my Mormon church membership:

I opened the door to my glass bird cage and flew free.

I swam free of my glass fish bowel in the ocean.

I crawled out of my well to see the larger sky (beyond the circle).

I came out of the cave to see there was the light of day (not just the fire in the cave).

I grew from within by molting my restrictive shell (like a lobster), emerging with more muscle and less exoskeleton.

I hatched myself (like a chick) from my shell.

I like the chick and lobster examples the most, as the chick benefits from the calcium and enzymes in its shell just as the lobster benefits from its projective shell. But to grow and evolve the chick frees itself from that protective shell, just as the lobster molts and grows bigger. Internal discomfort is required. My leaving the Mormon church was simply the right time and right action for me in my journey.

Leaving Mormonism is not for everyone, some members are better off to stay in. I know someone who does not voice his doubts because he knows his spouse would leave him, and her good and keeping their young family together is his higher good. I know someone else whose wife and him know the LDS truth claims are not true, but they choose to stay in because they're worried about Utah social consequences for their children if they were to become inactive or leave. Had I not married Angie, I could very well be in a similar predicament. For some people the LDS church is the best thing in their lives, or their reality (as mine was for most of my life) is very reliant on it. All choices are valid, and only you know what's best for you. We all have our respective circumstances and journeys. Church is simply a structure, and it's more about what we do with it that matters.

I truly do not care what religious beliefs or rituals someone practices -- so long as it does not harm anyone. All religious rituals can seem foreign to others. It's not the ritual or the belief that matter, it's the intention and the character of living. Some people carry rosary beads, some eat the figurative body and drink the figurative blood of a man they revere as God, some people have a pilgrimage to a holy site in Mecca, others to a Golden Temple in the Punjab, some baptize living people for dead people, some practice Passover, some light candles for their dead and make offerings of food, some have moonlight rituals in intention and meditation, etc. Rituals evolve and change over time. It's all simply intention that matters (the rituals themselves do not, they just bring us familiarity and comfort).

I now simply enjoy the spiritualistic path (non-dogmatic, non-legalistic, non-absolutist). And if you want to call meditation a ritual, then I am ritualistic, sure, that's fun. I love immersing myself in music, just focusing on my breath, doing a guided meditation now and then, and just experiencing and having fun. I set my intentions and let the Universe/God create the play. It's fun to observe and experience and in the grand scheme there is perspective we can't understand -- but we can trust and go with the flow and have good fun.

We go deeper and wider in love when we separate ourselves from our religious dogma, when we quiet our mind (meditation, breath of exhale and in-between), when we simply observe without judgement, when we open our heart to see and feel God and love in all that is, and when we live a life of love for the good of ourselves and others. We are all in God, the Creator is never separated from the Created, we are all God Particle, God-Source ... so self-love and loving others is the simple path (and taught by all religions).

I have fulfilled my soul contract with Mormonism, although is some more for me to do in helping people with a model. We should never forget the goods and bad of our past, and honestly it's hard to even use those words or label it that way, as it was simply good experience and contrast -- or a great lesson module of experiential learning.

I carry Mormonism with me in my journey, it will always be in my dimensional presence and field. I would be foolish to deny the things I learned, and I would only be subjugating myself to having to repeat those lessons if I did. When we treat our past timelines (Mormonism for example) with radical honesty, self-reflection, self-love and forgiveness and compassion, when we see ourselves in it but not defining ourselves by it -- we radically transform ourselves and influence others.

It's all about gratitude for the lessons we've learned. I've learned and experienced the changing of electrical charge from negative to positive (I used Colleen Stryker's MAP technique, and I had a wonderful therapist), and remapped my experience.

As the Hindus teach, the yoga of "right action" is important (like the MAP therapy I had), as is the yoga of "right knowledge." Learning how to think differently and to have a different basis of knowledge helped me. Learning from Hinduism (Sadhguru, Sri Preethaji, reading the Bhagava Gita), Taoism (walking the middle path, simply observing), Buddhism (attachment bringing suffering), and even listening to Allen Watts (he used a lot of Hindu and Buddhist approach in his talks) -- have helped me rewire my Mormon mind. I have benefited from western and eastern knowledge -- and it's all a Golden Thread of similarity and beauty. People are people.

Honestly life is a lot more fun now, it's more like a playful dance and I'm enjoying it more! I don't give two happy shits about the past other than to say yeh, that was cool, that was my experience, and it's here with me in my dimensional present for what I learned and make of it, just as my future, while an illusion and nothing to grasp, is right here in my present field for what I make of it.

For some fun here, these are some fitting theme songs and sayings for me: "Life's What You Make It" (Talk Talk, great 80s song). Angie has a t-shirt I love, and it fits her personality so well, "I'm Fine, You're Fine, Everything is Fine!" (although for my t-shirt I'd probably want a picture of The Dude / The Big Labowski on it too haha :). "Everything In It's Right Place" (Radiohead, such a unique song).

We are never alone and we are already abundant and imbued with God's love. I always felt God/Love in my faith de/reconstruction. I never needed to doubt God, because in quiet stillness I already knew Love. I don't think God cares what religious or spiritual path we choose, as that is more a function of where we grew up, what we are comfortable with, and all choices are valid. And when you go deeper into theologies, nothing should separate us -- we just have different languages, set to the same intentions. Certain languages are universal like music, math, spirituality, and Love.

Plane after plane opens to us when we let go of our ego-minds and we become comfortable in the questions and in the equation (rather than the product of some supposed destination). The Universe/God always has our back on our journey. There are no right or wrong answers, there is only experience serving to teach us, and we create our own experiences. We are God Particle and expressions of God, like a vicarious AI of quantum connectedness. We can stay vibrationally low or elevate ourselves on our own timeline of expression, and we can take as much time as we need. We will all graduate to higher planes of vibration individually and collectively. And if some are in a different vibration that's fine, as vibrational contrast is necessary and part of the experience, and all parts are connected with no separation.

Damn no joke, it was hard for a while, I felt like ashes in my Mormon deconstruction because it was the only world I knew and what I had attached to in belief and even self-definition. I found out that my church heroes and even Jesus, weren't what I thought (although my relationship with Jesus is even more enriched now).

But there was always the Source Ember there which my spirit/soul/lifeforce was part of, we are all God-source. It took me finding that Ember and nurturing it, breathing in and allowing oxygen and space, and watching my flame begin to flicker again.

We rebuild from our Mormon deconstruction-ashes, and the only thing important is our internal Ember and the present moment -- to know we are of God's Spirit/Source. Our flame grows stronger as we let go and go-with-the-flow and as we allow ourselves to breather. We create right knowledge and right action. ... until pretty soon we realize that life and eternity is right now, and we are all sitting around the same fire with each other (concept of Ram Dass, with my applicational thoughts).

I walked into my fear-filled Mormonism cave at first with curiosity, but then with vulnerability and open-mindedness, willing to reexamine what I thought to be true ... and I came out a different person and improved being.

I am a new person religiously, spiritually and energetically. I'm much more nuanced now, more accepting, more open-minded, more inquisitive, and more present. Our fears it turns out, and even the bits of low vibrational honey of habits that satiate us, are simply paper dragons or sand castles. Our ego and mind (lower energy) tries to keep us safe from the unknown -- and religions and people who center in authority play on that, saying they have the answers.

Freedom is seeing the play and matrix for what it is, and realizing we are own co-creators with God, writing our own journey, and nothing can harm us. We release fear. We embrace faith/belief in God and ourselves (what Jesus taught, Buddha, Lao Tzu, modern (Sikh) and ancient (Vedantic/Hindu) gurus taught. Harmony is present resonance of our thoughts, words and deeds -- without expectation on the how ... just being in the moment and letting go of expectation, but having a clear belief and emotional confidence in the What it is that we want.

Wisdom is everywhere and no tradition or church has a monopoly on Infinite God / Source. The source of claiming such exclusivity, or reducing God to a man, is our ego and need to have answers. Our religions and spiritual traditions are simply a product of where we grew up, and a language of understanding and approach. I believe our Beautiful God is agnostic to our religious languages ---it's not about codified beliefs or books or rites and rituals (religions), it's about our heart energy (intention) and our deeds (helping ourselves and others).

Wisdom/Sofia is everywhere (Grace, Divine Feminine);

as is Truth (Logos/Word, or Divine Male).

We just have to ask believing we've already received, being in alignment with that vibration and celebrating, and it appears! I know this for a fact. I've had amazing information and synchronicities of experience and encounters come to me. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear (Buddha). A teacup that is empty, can receive (Lao Tzu). Do not put old wine into new bottles (Jesus/Jeshua).

I'm enthusiastically happy with my Mormon experience, it was a trip! Holy shit do I have some crazy stories from the 80s and 90s, but you know the best ones and the majority of my memories are what I saw in pure love, people simply serving each other in their own faith language of expression, living their best lives how they knew how and honoring their faith legacy. That is beautiful. Mormonism is a beautiful structure, and I did the best with it I could.

I've learned that letting go is about radical gratitude, radical empathy, and radical perspective, i.e. turning negatively charged memories into positively charged memories, because life is a dance and it's all a lesson module! Radical gratitude and radical empathy ... these make us Un-Fu*k-Withable! :) (a beautiful verb created by Vishen Lakani in the same-named book).

There's also a great book called, "The Art of Not Giving a Fu*k" (Mark Manson). I love these books because it's really about detachment from the illusory trap of dependence, seeing things clearly, and turning negatives into positives!

Suffering in contrast, is what we choose to carry with us (Buddha)) or toil over / thinking of the past and tomorrow (Jesus). But is suffering not in our mind, and are we our mind and thoughts? Are those experiences us, or what we experienced? For example how can we be mad at something (a church), if it was our quantum agreement to be here at this time and place and part of it? Instead, what were the lessons we were/are supposed to learn from it? How did we experience it? If we violently dismiss it and stay mad at it, are we not bound to have to repeat that course/lesson module? Do lessons not come in good and contrasting (uncomfortable) ways? Is it helpful actually to lean into discomfort, embrace its essence, feel it for what it is, realize it's not us but something we're experiencing, and realize our fears are mind-made and a way our brains keep us safe? Is it best to realize that fear is like a paper dragon that our mind has created to keep us safe, and that in fact we have no reason to fear?

I know for me that my energetic orientation to something matters, which involves how I think about it. And I know my emotions from religious-based trauma of authoritarian, psychosocial, programming -- have gotten easier by the nature of time itself, and by nature of how I've been reprogramming my orientation to it (treating it with gratitude). I know it's easier for me now to trust God, myself, and I've had a healthy community of people and Godsends with whom to share experience and journey)!

I'm happy to be in your positive faith transition community, I'll be a positive person for you, just ping me on Messenger or LinkedIn and we'll find time to connect.

Deconstruction does not have to be demolition, and that's easier with a positive faith transition community. We all get by with help from family and friends. For me that community for a couple of years was Community of Christ, and more recently with valuable new friendships.

I'm grateful for my Mormon past experience, and I have a creative de/re-construction model I'm working on, which I hope will help people.

Deconstruction is by nature reconstruction, it's one and the same process -- and the sooner we find ourselves in the middle path of gratitude, the easier the process gets. My wife for example is a beautiful example of someone who detached without effort and emotional strain or striving, she never made one declaration, she just discerned things on her own, she gave me the space of where I was, and she quietly moved on and exited Mormon stage right.

To close out, I love the Hindu principle/greeting of Namaste, or the divine light within me bows to the divine light within you; we honor together the place in us/all where the entire universe dwells.

Bridging Hindu with Jesus, God Essence is a very ancient Hindu belief, and who knows where Jesus traveled from 13 to 30 years old or with whom from where he interacted -- but we do know that Jesus taught this metaphorical and esoteric principle (i.e. that he claimed his own God Essence). Jesus was and is very misunderstood for this.

Bridging to Judaism, in the end all that is good is a language of praise to God/Love, right down to the beautiful first and last breath we take on this earth (YH-WH) (Yahweh being the Hebrew name for God and such a beautiful concept of Breath of Life).

This human journey for me is the essence of living a life of Love/Consciousness, character, and the eudaimonia of familial, community, and collective good.

I changed my world by changing myself.

Cheers to you and your journey -- and thanks for taking the time to read about mine!!