Hi! I'm Helen

My decision for leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has not been made lightly, but it is one I have come to after enduring years of mistreatment, disrespect, and ultimately, a complete lack of emotional support from both church members and leadership. Twelve years is more than enough time to realize that this is not the community for me.
I have experienced bullying, insults, and constant judgment within the church. I have witnessed firsthand how financial status seems to dictate worth and treatment within this community. My contributions to the church, including cleaning and other services, have been disregarded and devalued.
The recent actions, or rather inactions, of the bishop and stake president regarding my impending eviction have been the final straw. To be clear, I was essentially told I would not receive assistance because, according to the bishop's claim, the Lord instructed him not to help. This, coupled with the existing negativity and gossip that permeates the church, and the actions of my Mormon landlord, has made my decision very clear. I have the worse of the worse landlord.
My landlord is also a church member. 11 years I lived there. He tried to find any reason to harass me so I’d want to leave.
The landlord refused to take care of required apartment maintenance. He spit on me and called me names.
My neighbors told me he spoke to them about me in a defaming manner. He did not hold back that he despised me and wanted me out.
I had no where to go so tried to keep the peace until they forced my hand and pushed inappropriately again.
Landlord laughed in my face stating he’d be happy to see me homeless.
I tried to report him to the bishop but the bishop now the stake president encouraged him. It just got worse.
I am also disgusted by the utter lack of compassion and trust I have encountered. The suggestion that I am not actively seeking employment, despite evidence to the contrary, is insulting. The constant complaints from other members and the resulting prejudice from leadership are unacceptable.
While I am grateful for any past assistance I may have received, the price I have paid in the form of emotional distress and disrespect is far too high. I will not tolerate being treated as a second-class member or being abandoned and endangered, as happened when I was left alone in the church building late at night after cleaning the church.
In 2018, I was honored to be asked if I would be willing to serve as a Temple worker. I accepted with enthusiasm and a sincere desire to contribute. However, the weeks and months passed without any follow-up. After several attempts to inquire about the status of my application, I was finally contacted in October 2018.
On a Friday evening at 9:00 PM, I received a phone call from the Temple President informing me that I would not be able to serve as a Temple worker. The reason given was that my bishop had supposedly advised against it, stating that I was "not a good fit" for Temple service. The bishop at this time was also a terrible person.
Frankly, I was devastated. This experience was deeply hurtful and has had a lasting impact on me. I found it shocking that such a decision could be made based on what appears to be hearsay and without any direct communication with me to understand the concerns. The Temple, a place that is supposed to represent purity and righteousness, felt tainted by gossip and unfounded judgment.
After dedicating twelve years to the Church, this experience has left me feeling disillusioned and betrayed. It reinforced my belief that this church is not a safe place for me. Therefore, I will not be returning. I ultimately felt that my values and beliefs were not aligned with those of the church, and I believe that this decision is in my best interest. They have always made me feel like a second class citizen, that I didnot fit in. This church is just and only about money.
I vividly remember last year when the bishop now president, called me with a plea to help a sister in our ward. He informed me that she was sleeping in her car and asked if she could stay with me, knowing I had a spare room. Without hesitation, I agreed. It was the right thing to do. I believe in helping those in need, and the thought of someone from our ward being homeless and vulnerable in her car was simply unacceptable.
I welcomed her into my home and provided her with a safe place to stay. I did this because I trusted his judgment and because my faith teaches me to extend compassion and support to those less fortunate.
Now, a year later, the irony is devastating. The very same man who asked me to open my home to someone in need is now instrumental in making me homeless. I find myself facing the very situation I so readily helped another sister avoid. Now I received an unlawful detainer from my Mormon landlord who has always been mean and nasty with me. My decision is final. I will not be swayed by any attempts to change my mind. I have had enough to be treated like this.