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Hi, I Have Never Been Happier

I was a mormon.

Fort White, FL
Kai profile image for wasmormon.org

    About me

    I grew up in a very orthodox family, every commandment from the apostles were followed to a T. I was supposed to fit into a mold, and I did so, not for myself but for my parents and what they wanted. Without getting into the crazy details I will say that my childhood was hard I was trying to live up to standards that are impossible for regular people, let alone anyone on the LGTB spectrum.

    # Why I left More stories of 'Why I left' the Mormon church

    When my mom passed away, though it was the hardest time in my teenage life, I suddenly had a lot of thinking to do. I was slow at first, but when I was on the fence about deciding to stay or not, a chain of events pushed me over. I want to say that the journey to self-discovery was a very hard one. Each step of the way I was hesitant, and I would ask family and siblings for help only to be reprimanded for questioning. I went from knowing where I was in the church as a child of god, to realizing I didn’t know who I was at all. This is the part where we are tested the most, members see this struggle and think that we can’t be happy, just because we are in a transition stage. Leaving the church is not a small step. For a long time, it made me who I was. I felt I was no one without it.

    The events that made me leave rushed my decision, and I am actually very happy for it. I am generally not a wishy washy kind of person, so when I make up my mind I stick to it. The decision to leave was a final thing, I knew that I would never go back if I did leave, so I gave it all the thought in the world. The next year after I made the decision was one of the most liberating years for me. I have chronic anxiety, and I could almost feel a sense of peace wash over me as I knew I would never have to go back. I started to learn that being myself wasn’t a bad thing, but the best thing I could actually do.

    Five years later and I know my life is immensely better. I have never been happier or healthier. I drink coffee for health reasons, I enjoy life as it comes. I don’t have to question things I do, I don’t have to stop and wonder if I will damage my afterlife, or the afterlives of my family. All of the fears I once had are gone, and I am content. Life has never been better, and I know it will only get better from here.

    Attribution

    Originally shared on wherewillyougo.org which is no longer live.

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    wasmormon.org

    Though this site discusses mormonism, topics related to mormons, the mormon church and people who refer to themselves as unorthodox mormons, ex-mormons, post-mormons or any other form of wasmormon, it is not officially affiliated with or managed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or even the Corporation of the Presiding Bishop. They don't want to be called mormon anymore anyways. All of the content, stories or opinions expressed, implied or included in this site are solely credited to those sharing their own personal stories and not those of Intellectual Reserve, Inc. or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

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