Hello, I'm Dusty.
I'm a Professional Salesman, a family man, and a world traveller. I LOVE my wife and kids, and love truth seeking.
I was raised mormon within a broken home (which raised a lot of questions very young). I was denied the "privilege" to serve a mission. I then felt inspired to move to BYU to fix myself, because I obviously was doing something wrong, I still couldn't find a place or group that I felt comfortable with but still went on to marry the love of my life in the temple. I have never felt comfortable in the temple, but I kept pursuing the magical bliss that all Mormons seemed to be in. While having a few very deep conversations with a childhood best friend, I was finally able to speak and feel authentic for the first time that I could remember. We spoke about his studies on the church history and my hardships through my youth. The following day I started researching the real history and I actually felt closer to a "Holy Spirit" or however you would classify that feeling. I want to believe that there is a God. I need there to be a God. I love my wife and kids so much, and I intend on living as fullest as I possibly can. I love that I get to share this for the first time via text.
I touched on this in the About Me section. I don't have a testimony of the Church or Joseph Smith. I have not left the church entirely, and will support my TBM wife for as long as she needs, even if that's forever. I love that this faith experience has allowed me to finally be myself and feel real peace.
When is the next scheduled meet up? We are looking forward to it since we are currently viewed as outcasts inside and outside of the church. People haven’t wanted to hang out since we were considered Mormons, and members haven’t wanted to because we were viewed as outside the box thinkers, haha. We just want other families to relate to and to have a safe space with people going through similar religious challenges.
A very condensed recap of our affiliation with the LDS church is that I had “faith challenges” my whole life but was always taught that if I doubt it is of satan. So I went on to submit my papers to go on a mission, but because I came from a broken home with absent parents I was denied. I did not agree with this at all but once again was afraid to challenge the decision because that would be me challenging God (or so I thought at the time).
Later I went through the temple and was completely uncomfortable, not because I didn’t feel like I was “worthy” enough to be there but because everything seemed so cult like and strange. Once again I’m sure you all can guess how I handled my feelings.. bottled them up, did not question, and forged onward.
I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life years later and we went through the typical temple marriage, she being born and raised in Idaho made it easier for her to follow the churches very specific and unrelenting guidelines on how a person should function throughout their life.
Fast forward to today.
I no longer believe in the church or its leaders, but I do value and appreciate some of the things I’ve learned along the way, for example how important it is to love one another, how to properly raise our children, and how life can be driven with the lord without the institution of a religion.
My wife is still in the faith crisis stage but understands and supports my views. We have two beautiful strong daughters and a son on the way.
We are in search of similar or like minded friends and families to meet, keep in touch with, and most importantly relate with as we continue on this journey.
Both of us are extremely grateful that these groups exist and look forward to more interactions, wishing you all the best day and hope that this message is not too much.
Thank you for allowing me to share.