2025 - wasmormon.org

Kendall Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight

Kendall grew up in a loving LDS family in Texas, embracing his faith because he had no reason to question it. Like many devout members, he served a mission, married in the church, and dedicated himself to his callings. But beneath the surface, troubling questions about church history, doctrine, and racist teachings gnawed at him. …

Continue reading “Kendall Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight”

[He] chose to be a perpetual doubter. As one concern was resolved, another one was found. “Church history whack-a-mole.” The children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — [He] chose to be a perpetual doubter. As one concern was resolved, another one was found. “Church history whack-a-mole.” The children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

Doubt is not and will never be the precursor of faith any more than light depends on darkness for its creation... This is what happened to Stephen. He let doubt and uncertainty occupy his mind. As time went on, he did not have the strength to confront the challenges that one faces as a member of the Church. He grew weary in his mind, and his faith disappeared. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — Doubt is not and will never be the precursor of faith any more than light depends on darkness for its creation... This is what happened to Stephen. He let doubt and uncertainty occupy his mind. As time went on, he did not have the strength to confront the challenges that one faces as a member of the Church. He grew weary in his mind, and his faith disappeared. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

What Stephen was doing is a form of “Church history whack-a-mole.” You know, the children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. While further intellectual information may temporarily resolve an intellectual concern, further information is not the complete solution. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — What Stephen was doing is a form of “Church history whack-a-mole.” You know, the children’s game where a mole pops up from a board and as soon as you hit it, another mole pops up in another place. While further intellectual information may temporarily resolve an intellectual concern, further information is not the complete solution. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

He was digging up in doubt what he had planted in faith. As time went on, as one concern was resolved, another one was found. No matter how much anyone tried to respond and answer these questions, he found another topic on which he was anxious. He focused on the dents in the boat instead of on the capability of the boat to lead him to the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — He was digging up in doubt what he had planted in faith. As time went on, as one concern was resolved, another one was found. No matter how much anyone tried to respond and answer these questions, he found another topic on which he was anxious. He focused on the dents in the boat instead of on the capability of the boat to lead him to the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

But now I really am concerned that the priesthood was withheld for a time from those of African descent” ... Sadly, Stephen had chosen to be a perpetual doubter. For him, doubting pleased him more than knowing - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — But now I really am concerned that the priesthood was withheld for a time from those of African descent” ... Sadly, Stephen had chosen to be a perpetual doubter. For him, doubting pleased him more than knowing - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

But now I’m really concerned about the polygamy that was practiced in Nauvoo and after the Manifesto in 1890. That is really troubling me.” I asked Stephen to visit with someone who had researched these topics in reliable primary sources. After that discussion, I contacted Stephen and asked how he was doing. He said, “Well, that doesn’t bother me anymore. I understand what happened, and my concerns have been resolved... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — But now I’m really concerned about the polygamy that was practiced in Nauvoo and after the Manifesto in 1890. That is really troubling me.” I asked Stephen to visit with someone who had researched these topics in reliable primary sources. After that discussion, I contacted Stephen and asked how he was doing. He said, “Well, that doesn’t bother me anymore. I understand what happened, and my concerns have been resolved... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

As I visited with Stephen, he said that he had concerns with the fact that Joseph Smith related four versions of the First Vision. He thought that this might mean that Joseph Smith made up his experience. I put Stephen in contact with a man who had researched these four versions decades earlier. Stephen visited with the researcher. The next time I spoke with Stephen I said, “So, how do you feel about the First Vision?” He said, “Well, I feel okay about that because my questions have been answered. That no longer bothers me... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — As I visited with Stephen, he said that he had concerns with the fact that Joseph Smith related four versions of the First Vision. He thought that this might mean that Joseph Smith made up his experience. I put Stephen in contact with a man who had researched these four versions decades earlier. Stephen visited with the researcher. The next time I spoke with Stephen I said, “So, how do you feel about the First Vision?” He said, “Well, I feel okay about that because my questions have been answered. That no longer bothers me... - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

A stake president asked me to visit with a man whom I will call Stephen. Stephen had been a faithful member of the Church. He had served a mission and had married in the temple. He had served faithfully for many years but began to have doubts about the Church. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole | wasmormon.org — A stake president asked me to visit with a man whom I will call Stephen. Stephen had been a faithful member of the Church. He had served a mission and had married in the temple. He had served faithfully for many years but began to have doubts about the Church. - Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and Sister Ruth L. Renlund, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults • January 13, 2019 • BYU–Hawaii - Church History whack-a-mole

Bednar’s Evasive $300 Billion Answer Only Raises More Questions

“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video | wasmormon.org

In February 2025, the LDS Church released a new video featuring an interview with David A. Bednar at the Silicon Slopes Summit on September 28, 2023. The interview was conducted by Ryan Smith, Mormon billionaire, co-founder of Qualtrics, and owner of multiple professional sports teams, including the Utah Jazz (NBA), Utah Hockey Club (NHL), and …

Continue reading “Bednar’s Evasive $300 Billion Answer Only Raises More Questions”

This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!

I’m incredibly grateful to my spouse and my whole family for loving me and accepting me even as my beliefs have changed. My family is amazing. If you’re a faithful member reading this, please know that if you’re happy in the church - then I’m genuinely happy for you. I know we still share enough common values to foster mutual respect. I also know how troubling and confusing it can be when someone leaves your tribe. I’ll admit, I judged people who left before me. It was so much easier to tie a nice bow around their choice than to actually try and grapple with it. No one offended me. I don’t have an addiction. And I don’t feel like I’m betraying my integrity. I’m being true to my integrity and the values the church and my family instilled in me. I feel if I meet God tomorrow, he will understand that. If, like me a few years back, you’re starting to slip down a rabbit hole and aren’t sure where you’ll land, please know it’s all going to be ok and you're not alone! - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/

“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org — “When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit,September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025

"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church | wasmormon.org — "Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church

“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org — “They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025

What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org — What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025

Lilburn Boggs’ Extermination Order and Mormon War

“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org

The Mormon-Missouri War (1838) was a conflict between the Mormon settlers in Missouri and their non-Mormon neighbors, culminating in violent clashes, forced expulsions, and the infamous Missouri Executive Order 44, also known as the so-called “Extermination Order.” While the Mormon Church often portrays itself as the innocent victim of religious persecution, the historical reality is …

Continue reading “Lilburn Boggs’ Extermination Order and Mormon War”

“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org — “We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838

Newer
1
…
4
5
6
…
13
Older

Profile Details