"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies | wasmormon.org
"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Eventually, it got to the point where I was passively ready to die at any moment. I was slowly losing my faith, sneaking onto the internet at night and doing research into church policies, exmormom accounts, history. Sometimes it got to be too much and I would log off and try to repent, but that never stopped the "what ifs" and the "whys" running through my head. I was miserable, I was suffering. Why was God doing this to me?" - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Eventually, it got to the point where I was passively ready to die at any moment. I was slowly losing my faith, sneaking onto the internet at night and doing research into church policies, exmormom accounts, history. Sometimes it got to be too much and I would log off and try to repent, but that never stopped the "what ifs" and the "whys" running through my head. I was miserable, I was suffering. Why was God doing this to me?" - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"When I was 15, a girl who was a member of my ward and who went to my school, a girl I thought was my friend, had found out from someone else that I was trans and that I was dating a girl. She waited until a day I was sick and not at church and told my parents everything. My home life got significantly worse afterwards." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"When I was 15, a girl who was a member of my ward and who went to my school, a girl I thought was my friend, had found out from someone else that I was trans and that I was dating a girl. She waited until a day I was sick and not at church and told my parents everything. My home life got significantly worse afterwards." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"The next morning at school, I told two of my closest friends I thought I was trans. That really was the beginning of the end. Instinctively, I knew I couldn't tell anyone at church or anyone in my family. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was trying desperately to reconcile my faith with my newfound identity. I was a firm believer in God, in Joseph Smith's righteousness, in my duty to spread the good word. I did everything to remain a devout follower and prove to myself it wasn't a sin to be Mormon AND trans." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"The next morning at school, I told two of my closest friends I thought I was trans. That really was the beginning of the end. Instinctively, I knew I couldn't tell anyone at church or anyone in my family. I kept it a secret for a long time. I was trying desperately to reconcile my faith with my newfound identity. I was a firm believer in God, in Joseph Smith's righteousness, in my duty to spread the good word. I did everything to remain a devout follower and prove to myself it wasn't a sin to be Mormon AND trans." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Leading up to this period of my life, I realized I was bisexual. A year later, I heard the word "transgender" for the first time. It changed everything. Secretly finding out the password to our family computer, I snuck on in the middle of the night and Googled "transgender", "transgender man", "can you be transgender without a surgery", "if i'm a girl can I be a transgender man", for hours I was locked onto the computer screen, reading people explain feelings I had pushed away as the devil speaking to me for ages. It all clicked. I cleared the browsing history, logged out, and went back to bed." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Leading up to this period of my life, I realized I was bisexual. A year later, I heard the word "transgender" for the first time. It changed everything. Secretly finding out the password to our family computer, I snuck on in the middle of the night and Googled "transgender", "transgender man", "can you be transgender without a surgery", "if i'm a girl can I be a transgender man", for hours I was locked onto the computer screen, reading people explain feelings I had pushed away as the devil speaking to me for ages. It all clicked. I cleared the browsing history, logged out, and went back to bed." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Basically, my life was one constant anxiety attack. I lived in a blur, too caught up in my own head to take notice of what was going on around me. To this day, I can hardly remember what elementary, middle, or high school was like, but I can remember exact anxieties I would have. I left because I had tried to kill myself." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"Basically, my life was one constant anxiety attack. I lived in a blur, too caught up in my own head to take notice of what was going on around me. To this day, I can hardly remember what elementary, middle, or high school was like, but I can remember exact anxieties I would have. I left because I had tried to kill myself." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I was at the church doing something almost every day of the week. Despite always being in the house of the Lord, I never felt His presence. I was riddled with anxiety every waking moment since well before I was baptized. Being Mormon taught me that even thinking bad thoughts was a sin. If I had an unkind thought or I accidentally saw something my mom would disapprove of, I would panic and try to erase it as fast as I could before God found out. My anxieties only grew with age: when I was told that I was apart of the "chosen generation" or that we would see the second coming in our lifetime, I would panic about the end of the world." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I was at the church doing something almost every day of the week. Despite always being in the house of the Lord, I never felt His presence. I was riddled with anxiety every waking moment since well before I was baptized. Being Mormon taught me that even thinking bad thoughts was a sin. If I had an unkind thought or I accidentally saw something my mom would disapprove of, I would panic and try to erase it as fast as I could before God found out. My anxieties only grew with age: when I was told that I was apart of the "chosen generation" or that we would see the second coming in our lifetime, I would panic about the end of the world." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I work with dogs. I am a trans man married to a fellow trans man. I grew up with a lifelong LDS mom (from generations of Mormons) and a convert dad (he converted because of drug and alcohol recovery in his youth). It was a very strict upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I work with dogs. I am a trans man married to a fellow trans man. I grew up with a lifelong LDS mom (from generations of Mormons) and a convert dad (he converted because of drug and alcohol recovery in his youth). It was a very strict upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/

Jeffrey R. Holland, Logical Fallacies, Manipulation, Guilt, and Fake Testimonies

In his MTC address, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s statement is filled with logical fallacies that manipulate emotions rather than provide actual evidence for the LDS Church’s truth claims. The “Borrowed Testimony” Fallacy “If there is anyone in the room who’s struggling with a testimony, you have one — mine!” This is similar to advice from …

"I had a missionary ask me once if I would give my life for the Church. I said, “Elder, I am giving my life for the Church.” I know what he meant. What he meant was, “Would you die for it?” Well, that’s the easy part. That’s a snap! On some days it looks really appealing. That’s the easy part, to die for it. Well, what God needs is people who will live for it, people who will go the distance, people who are in this race we’re talking about that will go all the way to the tape. And some may die along the way and that’s wonderful, but He needs people who will finish the work." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"I had a missionary ask me once if I would give my life for the Church. I said, “Elder, I am giving my life for the Church.” I know what he meant. What he meant was, “Would you die for it?” Well, that’s the easy part. That’s a snap! On some days it looks really appealing. That’s the easy part, to die for it. Well, what God needs is people who will live for it, people who will go the distance, people who are in this race we’re talking about that will go all the way to the tape. And some may die along the way and that’s wonderful, but He needs people who will finish the work." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
"We want you to run all the way, every day, every step until this is over. To give the Lord a full 24-month or 18-month mission, for your sake, for the church’s sake, for integrity’s sake, for the prophet’s sake... We don’t want you to ruin your health. We just want two years from you. We just want 18 months from you. So start now. Just don’t look back. Just put your face to the sun and put your shoulder into this work, and give it everything you’ve got and savor every day." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"We want you to run all the way, every day, every step until this is over. To give the Lord a full 24-month or 18-month mission, for your sake, for the church’s sake, for integrity’s sake, for the prophet’s sake... We don’t want you to ruin your health. We just want two years from you. We just want 18 months from you. So start now. Just don’t look back. Just put your face to the sun and put your shoulder into this work, and give it everything you’ve got and savor every day." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
"If there is anyone in the room who’s struggling with a testimony, you have one — mine! I’m giving my life to this. You’re giving two years. I’m giving my life! Everything I own, everything I possess is on the line. I would not come tell you a fairy tale. I wouldn’t wear myself into the ground, nor would President Hinckley do the same for something we did not know beyond a shadow of a doubt was God’s almighty truth! Give me a little more credit than that! I’m not an absolutely stupid man. This is the truth! And I’m giving everything that I know to give for that declaration." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"If there is anyone in the room who’s struggling with a testimony, you have one — mine! I’m giving my life to this. You’re giving two years. I’m giving my life! Everything I own, everything I possess is on the line. I would not come tell you a fairy tale. I wouldn’t wear myself into the ground, nor would President Hinckley do the same for something we did not know beyond a shadow of a doubt was God’s almighty truth! Give me a little more credit than that! I’m not an absolutely stupid man. This is the truth! And I’m giving everything that I know to give for that declaration." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001
Now if anyone wants to go home, talk to me. I will not let you! I will throw my life before the barred door. I have chains in every room. I have skyhooks and cables. I have things you’ve never seen before. If you think President Palmer’s tough on you, you haven’t seen anything yet! If you have any feeling about going home, you cannot. You must not... I would do anything to keep a missionary in the mission field. I would hang on, I would grab your leg, I would twist your ankle, I would put a full nelson and a judo chop, and whatever it takes. I would make an absolute fool out of myself, which is about what I’m describing, just to have you know how much it matters. - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001 | wasmormon.org
"Now if anyone wants to go home, talk to me. I will not let you! I will throw my life before the barred door. I have chains in every room. I have skyhooks and cables. I have things you’ve never seen before. If you think President Palmer’s tough on you, you haven’t seen anything yet! If you have any feeling about going home, you cannot. You must not... I would do anything to keep a missionary in the mission field. I would hang on, I would grab your leg, I would twist your ankle, I would put a full nelson and a judo chop, and whatever it takes. I would make an absolute fool out of myself, which is about what I’m describing, just to have you know how much it matters." - Jeffrey R. Holland, LDS Apostle | MTC Fireside, January 2001

Would You Die For The Church?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland starkly illustrates the extreme, manipulative, and abusive expectations that LDS leadership places on its members—especially young missionaries. He spoke at the MTC to all missionaries in training in 2001. He set the expectation that serving a mission for the church, the church “wants you to run all the way, every day, …