The thing that brought everything crashing down was actually an attempt at apologetics. In a classic evening of wiki wandering, I read about ancient Egypt and Israel, including a page about the Dead Sea Scrolls. I realized that we have a complete copy of Isaiah from ~150 BC. In my mind, this copy of Isaiah should have matched the Book of Mormon Isaiah chapters much more closely than the King James Version of the Bible does. I thought I would be able to use this to prove that the Book of Mormon was true. However, upon researching, I learned the exact opposite. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
The thing that brought everything crashing down was actually an attempt at apologetics. In a classic evening of wiki wandering, I read about ancient Egypt and Israel, including a page about the Dead Sea Scrolls. I realized that we have a complete copy of Isaiah from ~150 BC. In my mind, this copy of Isaiah should have matched the Book of Mormon Isaiah chapters much more closely than the King James Version of the Bible does. I thought I would be able to use this to prove that the Book of Mormon was true. However, upon researching, I learned the exact opposite. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
Other things came up over the years. Rumors that the endowment was based on Free Masonry. Questions about whether prayer could change the behavior of an all-knowing, all-powerful God. Non-member friends highlighting the absurdity of the Jaredite barges. Even moments of clarity when I realized my "spiritual experiences" had mundane explanations. These and many others went straight to the shelf. I dismissed them with thought-stoppers and as a result, never felt like I was wavering at all. I thought I had such a firm foundation. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
Other things came up over the years. Rumors that the endowment was based on Free Masonry. Questions about whether prayer could change the behavior of an all-knowing, all-powerful God. Non-member friends highlighting the absurdity of the Jaredite barges. Even moments of clarity when I realized my "spiritual experiences" had mundane explanations. These and many others went straight to the shelf. I dismissed them with thought-stoppers and as a result, never felt like I was wavering at all. I thought I had such a firm foundation. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
I was 100% in the church. I didn't doubt or question. I was obedient and faithful to the things I had been taught. I believed I had a firm testimony and had experienced many spiritual experiences to confirm that testimony. By the time I was 30 years old, I think I'd missed church fewer than 5 times in my life. At one point, we realized we'd missed paying tithing on a few paychecks, so we sold our couch, bedframe, TV stand, and keyboard (piano) in order to make the payment. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
I was 100% in the church. I didn't doubt or question. I was obedient and faithful to the things I had been taught. I believed I had a firm testimony and had experienced many spiritual experiences to confirm that testimony. By the time I was 30 years old, I think I'd missed church fewer than 5 times in my life. At one point, we realized we'd missed paying tithing on a few paychecks, so we sold our couch, bedframe, TV stand, and keyboard (piano) in order to make the payment. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
My life finally feels REAL. When I'm sad, I don't need to pretend that some supernatural being is making me feel differently. When I succeed, I don't need to attribute my success to a deity to avoid being prideful. When I'm upset, I can evaluate the true causes of my emotions, rather than being afraid that Satan is attacking me. My life is mine, and it's logical, rational, and real. I love it. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
My life finally feels REAL. When I'm sad, I don't need to pretend that some supernatural being is making me feel differently. When I succeed, I don't need to attribute my success to a deity to avoid being prideful. When I'm upset, I can evaluate the true causes of my emotions, rather than being afraid that Satan is attacking me. My life is mine, and it's logical, rational, and real. I love it. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
I'm a software developer who loves learning. I was raised in a very strict Mormon home. Among my siblings, I considered myself the most obedient. I never skipped. I didn't drink caffeine. I completed 4 years of seminary, went to BYU, served a mission, and got married in the temple. I was a Mormon. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
I'm a software developer who loves learning. I was raised in a very strict Mormon home. Among my siblings, I considered myself the most obedient. I never skipped. I didn't drink caffeine. I completed 4 years of seminary, went to BYU, served a mission, and got married in the temple. I was a Mormon. - Adam's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/adamj/
Nobody would confess that he couldn't see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. - The Emperor's New Clothes, Hans Christian Andersen | wasmormon.org
Nobody would confess that he couldn't see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. - The Emperor's New Clothes, Hans Christian Andersen
"What's this?" thought the Emperor. "I can't see anything. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the Emperor? What a thing to happen to me of all people!" "Oh! It's very pretty," he said. "It has my highest approval." And he nodded approbation at the empty loom. Nothing could make him say that he couldn't see anything. - The Emperor's New Clothes, Hans Christian Andersen | wasmormon.org
"What's this?" thought the Emperor. "I can't see anything. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the Emperor? What a thing to happen to me of all people!" – "Oh! It's very pretty," he said. "It has my highest approval." And he nodded approbation at the empty loom. Nothing could make him say that he couldn't see anything. - The Emperor's New Clothes, Hans Christian Andersen

The Emperor’s New Clothes

“The Emperor’s New Clothes” is a classic fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen. Hans Christian Andersen was a Danish author. Although a prolific writer of plays, travelogues, novels, and poems, he is best remembered for his literary fairy tales. It tells the story of an emperor who two cunning weavers deceive. They promise him a …

“I finished the Book of Mormon. As I kneeled to pray and asked if the book was true, I remember thinking that this was it - I would finally have the experience that everyone seems to talk about where they are overcome by the Spirit. The truth is, when I prayed, I didn't feel that way... Just because you may not receive an extremely strong confirmation does not mean the Book of Mormon isn't true or that your testimony is not as strong as someone else's. It simply means that the Spirit can speak to people in different ways and at different times... For me, this experience taught me that we don't always receive answers in the way we expect. I thought I would feel an overpowering spiritual impression after I prayed about the Book of Mormon - but I didn't. Honestly, I believe I already knew it was true.” - An Unexpected Answer, By Amy Carpenter. LDS Published New Era Magazine, Feb 2011 | wasmormon.org
“I finished the Book of Mormon. As I kneeled to pray and asked if the book was true, I remember thinking that this was it - I would finally have the experience that everyone seems to talk about where they are overcome by the Spirit. The truth is, when I prayed, I didn't feel that way... Just because you may not receive an extremely strong confirmation does not mean the Book of Mormon isn't true or that your testimony is not as strong as someone else's. It simply means that the Spirit can speak to people in different ways and at different times... For me, this experience taught me that we don't always receive answers in the way we expect. I thought I would feel an overpowering spiritual impression after I prayed about the Book of Mormon - but I didn't. Honestly, I believe I already knew it was true.” - An Unexpected Answer, By Amy Carpenter. LDS Published New Era Magazine, Feb 2011
"I'll put Moroni's promise to the test," I told myself, eager to get started. "I'll finally learn whether the Church is true." For the next 90 days, I diligently devoured the book's contents. Exultant with joy as I closed with Moroni's farewell and amen, I scrambled to my knees. Brimming with anticipation, I posed my question: Was the Book of Mormon true? As I waited for a response, a cricket chirped. The air conditioner switched on. My watch intrusively ticked off the seconds as they passed. There was no burning bosom sensation, no chorus of angels, no flash of knowing. Nothing... The truth of this book isn't always manifest in burning bosoms and visions of angels; it's manifest in the lives of the people who read it and put it to use. I don't need to ask anymore if this book is true. - Waiting for My Testimony, by Caroline LeDuc. LDS Published New Era Magazine, Feb 2010 | wasmormon.org
"I'll put Moroni's promise to the test," I told myself, eager to get started. "I'll finally learn whether the Church is true." For the next 90 days, I diligently devoured the book's contents. Exultant with joy as I closed with Moroni's farewell and amen, I scrambled to my knees. Brimming with anticipation, I posed my question: Was the Book of Mormon true? As I waited for a response, a cricket chirped. The air conditioner switched on. My watch intrusively ticked off the seconds as they passed. There was no burning bosom sensation, no chorus of angels, no flash of knowing. Nothing... The truth of this book isn't always manifest in burning bosoms and visions of angels; it's manifest in the lives of the people who read it and put it to use. I don't need to ask anymore if this book is true. - Waiting for My Testimony, by Caroline LeDuc. LDS Published New Era Magazine, Feb 2010
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/cdj319/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/cdj319/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"The Sunday before we all graduated, our bishop came in to talk to our class about our next steps. It was filled with the most misogynistic bullshit I had ever heard! He told us that we would all be wives and mothers before we knew it (nothing about education except that it MIGHT be a good idea in case something happened to our husbands). He told us that we needed to make sure that our appearance was desirable and reminded us to maintain that in our marriages. He told us that we should wake up before our husbands and make sure we look pretty for them, make sure to get everything ready that they need for the day and make sure they have a nice clean home to come home to every day. I can't make this up! But I didn't want to get in trouble so I just set it aside yet again." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"The Sunday before we all graduated, our bishop came in to talk to our class about our next steps. It was filled with the most misogynistic bullshit I had ever heard! He told us that we would all be wives and mothers before we knew it (nothing about education except that it MIGHT be a good idea in case something happened to our husbands). He told us that we needed to make sure that our appearance was desirable and reminded us to maintain that in our marriages. He told us that we should wake up before our husbands and make sure we look pretty for them, make sure to get everything ready that they need for the day and make sure they have a nice clean home to come home to every day. I can't make this up! But I didn't want to get in trouble so I just set it aside yet again." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"The very first time I had an issue with church leadership was when I was 16 years old and brought into my bishop's office to have a check-in "interview" where we talked about driving and, of course, dating. The two big milestones when you turn 16! I remember feeling so excited about those two new privileges. My bishop talked to me about general safety and joked that he would stay off the roads for a little while. Then we started talking about dating. He advised me to go out in groups and never be alone with a boy. Then he said something that resonated with me negatively. He said "please make sure that you dress in a way that will not distract any young man from straying from the path" I didn't mind dressing modestly so that was fine, but why was it MY responsibility to keep HIM from going off the path? My bishop has good counsel, so I decide to push my feelings aside and just listen. My first item on the shelf." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"The very first time I had an issue with church leadership was when I was 16 years old and brought into my bishop's office to have a check-in "interview" where we talked about driving and, of course, dating. The two big milestones when you turn 16! I remember feeling so excited about those two new privileges. My bishop talked to me about general safety and joked that he would stay off the roads for a little while. Then we started talking about dating. He advised me to go out in groups and never be alone with a boy. Then he said something that resonated with me negatively. He said "please make sure that you dress in a way that will not distract any young man from straying from the path" I didn't mind dressing modestly so that was fine, but why was it MY responsibility to keep HIM from going off the path? My bishop has good counsel, so I decide to push my feelings aside and just listen. My first item on the shelf." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"The next Sunday, I got called into my bishop's office and he was very upset with me. I did not follow the teachings of the church and that "was simply unacceptable." He told me I needed to apologize to the girls' parents for telling them things that didn't coincide with our leaders. I told him no and asked him to go and ask the girls who were in my group how the lesson made them feel instead. What did I do that was so bad? I walked out of his office and thought that maybe I should have just done what they asked so I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. Guilt started to set in and I didn't tell anyone. Another heavy item on my shelf." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"The next Sunday, I got called into my bishop's office and he was very upset with me. I did not follow the teachings of the church and that "was simply unacceptable." He told me I needed to apologize to the girls' parents for telling them things that didn't coincide with our leaders. I told him no and asked him to go and ask the girls who were in my group how the lesson made them feel instead. What did I do that was so bad? I walked out of his office and thought that maybe I should have just done what they asked so I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. Guilt started to set in and I didn't tell anyone. Another heavy item on my shelf." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"I pulled out a brand new $20 bill and started to ask the girls what they would buy with it. After they gave me their answers, I crumpled it, stomped on it, rubbed it in the dirt, tore a small piece off of a corner, and taped it back together. I turned back and asked, "now what can you buy with this?" They all looked confused and gave me the same answers. I told them that it didn't matter how dirty, broken, or crumpled they felt, they would always be worth the same amount. The female leaders thought it was great, but the priesthood leader who was listening did not and immediately called my bishop." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"I pulled out a brand new $20 bill and started to ask the girls what they would buy with it. After they gave me their answers, I crumpled it, stomped on it, rubbed it in the dirt, tore a small piece off of a corner, and taped it back together. I turned back and asked, "now what can you buy with this?" They all looked confused and gave me the same answers. I told them that it didn't matter how dirty, broken, or crumpled they felt, they would always be worth the same amount. The female leaders thought it was great, but the priesthood leader who was listening did not and immediately called my bishop." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"A few months later, we got a new bishop in my ward. One of my leaders had asked me to give a lesson on self-worth and to include a small thing about purity because it might be less awkward coming from someone the girls really look up to. I said I would and looked for examples, but all I could find were terrible things involving fear. So I changed my plan and didn't tell anyone. I taught a lesson and on the importance of standing up for what you believe in and determining your own worth for yourself." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"A few months later, we got a new bishop in my ward. One of my leaders had asked me to give a lesson on self-worth and to include a small thing about purity because it might be less awkward coming from someone the girls really look up to. I said I would and looked for examples, but all I could find were terrible things involving fear. So I changed my plan and didn't tell anyone. I taught a lesson and on the importance of standing up for what you believe in and determining your own worth for yourself." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"Almost 2 years later, I was about to graduate from high school. I was the Laurel president and managed to not make any more waves since I got in a lot of trouble. Every time I felt the need to question something or speak up about something I disagreed with, I forced myself to push it aside because that feeling of guilt hit me. More little items were added to my shelf over those years. " - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"Almost 2 years later, I was about to graduate from high school. I was the Laurel president and managed to not make any more waves since I got in a lot of trouble. Every time I felt the need to question something or speak up about something I disagreed with, I forced myself to push it aside because that feeling of guilt hit me. More little items were added to my shelf over those years. " - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"I am a lover of coffee, dogs, and life. I was born in raised in the PNW. I have 2 siblings, wonderful parents, and a life that I now love very much. I grew up Mormon. I wasn't a part of a cookie-cutter Mormon family and I wasn't always a perfect example but I held myself to impossible standards and landed myself in therapy all these years later. I was a Mormon." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
"I am a lover of coffee, dogs, and life. I was born in raised in the PNW. I have 2 siblings, wonderful parents, and a life that I now love very much. I grew up Mormon. I wasn't a part of a cookie-cutter Mormon family and I wasn't always a perfect example but I held myself to impossible standards and landed myself in therapy all these years later. I was a Mormon." - Chelsea's I was a Mormon Story | wasmormon.org
“[E]very thing is useful which contributes to fix us in the principles and practice of virtue. When any act of charity or of gratitude, for instance, is presented either to our sight or imagination, we are deeply impressed with its beauty and feel a strong desire in ourselves of doing charitable and grateful acts also. [I ask whether] the fidelity and generosity (of some fiction books) do not dilate [the reader's] breast, and elevate his sentiments as much as any similar incident which real history can furnish? Does he not in fact feel himself a better man while reading them, and privately covenant to copy the fair example?” - Thomas Jefferson (1771) | wasmormon.org
“[E]very thing is useful which contributes to fix us in the principles and practice of virtue. When any act of charity or of gratitude, for instance, is presented either to our sight or imagination, we are deeply impressed with its beauty and feel a strong desire in ourselves of doing charitable and grateful acts also. [I ask whether] the fidelity and generosity (of some fiction books) do not dilate [the reader's] breast, and elevate his sentiments as much as any similar incident which real history can furnish? Does he not in fact feel himself a better man while reading them, and privately covenant to copy the fair example?” - Thomas Jefferson (1771)
“What is our advice with respect to intermarriage with Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiians and so on? I will tell you what advice I give personally. If a boy or girl comes to me claiming to be in love with a Chinese or Japanese or a Hawaiian or a person of any other dark race, I do my best to talk them out of it. I tell them that I think the Hawaiians should marry Hawaiians, the Japanese ought to marry the Japanese, and the Chinese ought to marry Chinese, and the Caucasians should marry Caucasians, just exactly as I tell them that Latter-day Saints ought to marry Latter-day Saints. And I’m glad to quote the 7th chapter of Deuteronomy to them on that. I teach against intermarriage of all kinds.” - LDS Apostle, Mark E. Petersen Race Problems - As They Affect the Church, BYU Devotional, 1954 | wasmormon.org
“What is our advice with respect to intermarriage with Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiians and so on? I will tell you what advice I give personally. If a boy or girl comes to me claiming to be in love with a Chinese or Japanese or a Hawaiian or a person of any other dark race, I do my best to talk them out of it. I tell them that I think the Hawaiians should marry Hawaiians, the Japanese ought to marry the Japanese, and the Chinese ought to marry Chinese, and the Caucasians should marry Caucasians, just exactly as I tell them that Latter-day Saints ought to marry Latter-day Saints. And I’m glad to quote the 7th chapter of Deuteronomy to them on that. I teach against intermarriage of all kinds.” - LDS Apostle, Mark E. Petersen Race Problems - As They Affect the Church, BYU Devotional, 1954
"Was segregation a wrong principle? When the Lord preserved His people Israel in Egypt for 400 years, He engaged in an act of segregation, and when He brought them up out of Egypt and gave them their own land, He engaged in an act of segregation. We speak of the miracle of the preservation of the Jews as a separate people over all these years. It was nothing more or less than an act in segregation. I’m sure the Lord had His hand in it because the Jews still have a great mission to perform. When He placed the mark upon Cain, He engaged in segregation. When he told Enoch not to preach the gospel to the descendants of Cain who were black, the Lord engaged in segregation. When He cursed the descendants of Cain as to the Priesthood, He engaged in segregation.”
"Was segregation a wrong principle? When the Lord preserved His people Israel in Egypt for 400 years, He engaged in an act of segregation, and when He brought them up out of Egypt and gave them their own land, He engaged in an act of segregation. We speak of the miracle of the preservation of the Jews as a separate people over all these years. It was nothing more or less than an act in segregation. I’m sure the Lord had His hand in it because the Jews still have a great mission to perform. When He placed the mark upon Cain, He engaged in segregation. When he told Enoch not to preach the gospel to the descendants of Cain who were black, the Lord engaged in segregation. When He cursed the descendants of Cain as to the Priesthood, He engaged in segregation.”