Hi, I'm Shawn

I'm very grateful for what Mormonism taught me, and it will always be part of me for what I learned and experienced.

I'm now more of a universalist; I appreciate all teachings and traditions, and I align with Christ Consciousness.

I found that my fear-based cave was self-created, and I moved out into a broader view. I now experience and see more nuance, and I see less separation and more connection.

When we love as God loves, unconditionally like a parent for a child or a child for anyone, we experience One'ness -- or Christ Consciousness, Bliss (Hindu), Nirvana (Buddhist), Mukti (Sikh), etc. Most importantly that One'ness is not a future state but a present, because there is no time and space outside of our three-dimensional field - all in fact is in the present moment, or quantum field of kaleidoscope-simultaneous, i.e. heaven is here and now and life's what we make it!

I think of this life like a dream in that respect, which does not trivialize my life experience, it just that cool fact that I am the script writer, director, and actor of my own scenes -- and my present reality is what I have already put into motion.

I believe God is the glue of it all. God is in you, me, everything -- there is no separation, we are all God Essence. We choose what vibration we attune to, and it comes about as our reality to what we experience. We can stay in whatever vibrational state (listen and believe) we want for as long as we'd like. It's all experience and all choices are valid, because all experiences teach us.

There are no right and wrong answers for me anymore, there are just experiences and consequences. For me it's easier now to see the matrix/dream/dance/play/life for what it is (a beautiful dharma of creative, experiential playground, set to my intentions/soundtrack). I can set my intention and let things flow and be okay with how and when God/Universe creates that experience for me. I create and experience. I simply now do so without organized religion.

The Buddha taught that what we are attached to (for example our ideas, such as religious dogmas), can eventually cause
us to suffer (when the levee breaks). Jesus similarly taught about the lilies of the field and the birds of the sky, how they toil not or think not for tomorrow, and he talked about still versus living waters. Lao Tzu talked about walking the middle path (middle of the s-curve), being like an unassuming tree, and being like the water-flow (wu-wei, or effortless action). Sadhguru said, "You are not that experience, it's just something your experienced." Vishen Lakani (MindValley) teaches about radical gratitude and forgiveness, how those create empathy, which is love.

I believe these sages were teaching us to not take ourselves or our ideas to too seriously, that it's better to observe and experience without judgement, to go with the flow (but set to our intentions), and to simply be grateful and love.

The yoga of Right Knowledge is liberation (and a tough pill to swallow if we are attached to dogma) + the yoga of Right Action = the fun of life ... experiences we learn from and lean into!

I'm not mad at the Mormon church nor am I mad at anyone in the church. Mormonism was good for me, as experiential learning and contrast were a great lesson module for me in this lifetime. I believe in our soul-contract (pre-existence), so how could I be mad at an organization I chose to be part of and learned from?

I have completed my soul contract with Mormonism; it worked for me then it did not. Mormonism helped me see parts of myself that I liked and did not -- and on the latter I've been learning to be kinder to myself, i.e. to treat myself more like a parent for their child or a child for anyone.

I carry Mormonism with me in my journey, it will always be in my dimensional presence and field. I would be foolish to deny the things I learned or to emotionally push it away, and I would only be subjugating myself to having to repeat those lessons if I did. When we treat our past timelines (Mormonism for example) with radical honesty, self-reflection, self-love and forgiveness and compassion, when we see ourselves in it but not defining ourselves by it, when we see everything working for our good (when that's our paradigm and come-from) -- we radically transform ourselves and influence others and as Vishen Lakani says, we become "un-fu**withable."

I go deeper and wider in love when I separate myself from dogma or labels, when I quiet my mind, when I feel gratitude, and when I observe (not absorb). For example, Mormonism was how I defined myself for a long time, and being ExMormon was how I defined myself for a time -- but then I began to see that while faith and faith transition are valid, deconstruction doesn't have to be demolition, and detachment can become a new form of attachment if we stay negatively charged about it.

Leaving Mormonism is not for everyone, some members are better to stay in. I have friends whose family relations are why they stay. All choices are valid, and circumstances are individual, and we can experience it how we want. I think church is a product of where we are born (a choice from our pre-existence / soul contract), and it's more about what we do with that structure and how we experience it that matters.

Life is a lot more fun for me now, it's more like a playful dance and I'm enjoying it more! I feel more of a freedom to explore any content I like. I feel a more direct connection with God. And I feel liberated to have a more agnostic and nuanced view of things. I have more questions than I've ever had, and that's more fun.

For some fun, these are fitting theme songs and sayings for me: "Life's What You Make It" (Talk Talk, great 80s song), and "Everything In It's Right Place" (Radiohead, such a unique song and band). My wife has a t-shirt I love, and it fits her cool personality so well, "I'm Fine, You're Fine, Everything is Fine!"

We are never alone, and we are already abundant and imbued with God's love. I always felt God/Love in my faith de/reconstruction. I never needed to doubt God, because in quiet stillness I already knew Love/God. When we go deeper into love nothing separates us -- we just have different languages set to the same intentions. Certain languages are universal like music, math, spirituality, and love.

Plane after plane opens to us when we let go of our ego-minds and we become comfortable in the questions and in the equation (rather than the product of some supposed answer for destination). The Universe/God always has our back on our journey. There are no right or wrong answers, there is only experience. We are expressions of God, like quantum connectedness of inter-connections, or reflections in layers of sacred geometry.

We can stay vibrationally low or elevate ourselves on our own timeline of expression, and we can take as much time as we need. We will all graduate to higher planes of vibration individually and collectively. And if some are in a different vibration that's just fine and in its right place, as vibrational contrast is necessary and part of the experience, and all parts are connected with no separation.

No joke it was extremely hard for a while, like histrionic hard. I felt like emotional ashes in my Mormon deconstruction, because it was the world I knew and what I had attached to in incontrovertible truth and self-definition.

I had to kill my ego; I had to kill my heroes; I had to burn my ships -- when I realized I needed none of them.

But there was always the Source Ember there which my spirit/soul/lifeforce was part of, as we are all God-source/particle. It took me finding that internal, non-separated Ember and nurturing it, breathing in and allowing oxygen and space, allowing it to flicker again but in a new way.

We rebuild from our Mormon deconstruction-ashes, and the only thing important is our internal Ember and the present moment -- to know we are of God's Spirit/Source. Our flame grows stronger as we let go, breathe, and accept that everything is okay. We lean into right knowledge and right action ... until pretty soon we realize that life and eternity is right here, right now -- and that we are all sitting around the same fire with each other (concept of Ram Dass, with my applicational thoughts).

I walked into my fear-filled Mormonism cave at first with curiosity, but then with vulnerability and open-mindedness I became increasingly willing to reexamine my truth stories ... and I came out a different person and improved being.

I am a new person spiritually/energetically. I'm much more nuanced now, more accepting, more open-minded, more inquisitive, more light-hearted, and more present. Our fears it turns out, and even the bits of low vibrational honey of habits we use to satiate ourselves, are simply paper dragons and sandcastles. Our ego and mind (lower energy) try to keep us safe from the unknown -- and religions and people who center in authority often play on that, saying they have all the answers.

When we release fear, we realize that freedom is seeing the play and matrix for what it is, and realizing we are own co-creators with God, writing our own journey, and knowing that nothing but our fears and attachments can harm us.

Wisdom is everywhere and no tradition or church has a monopoly on Infinite God / Source. The source of claiming such exclusivity is our ego and need to have answers. While that's comforting, it's limiting. Wisdom/Sofia is everywhere (Grace/Creation/Divine Feminine). Truth/Logos is everywhere (Inner Strength / Sovereignty / Divine Male). Light and darkness are everywhere. Feeling and accepting is the moment where we realize the connectedness of it/us all.

I've learned that letting go is about radical gratitude, radical empathy, and radical perspective, i.e. transmuting memories and experiences from negatively charged into positive. Learning from many different sources (yoga of knowledge), allowing myself time, being kind to myself, and two therapists (two different modalities of neuro-reprogramming) (yoga of action), have all helped me. Radical gratitude and radical empathy are the keys which I've found to releasing fear and embracing love.

Deconstruction is by nature reconstruction, one and the same process -- and the sooner we find ourselves in the middle path (the middle of the s-curve, the space between) with agnostic observation and feeling gratitude by seeing all-around (vs a false dichotomy of fight) -- the easier the process gets. The experience is there, but it doesn't need to define us.

To close out, I love the Hindu principle/greeting of Namaste, or the divine light within me bows to the divine light within you; we honor together the place in us/all where the entire universe dwells.

Bridging Hindu with Jesus, God Essence is a very ancient Hindu belief, and who knows where Jesus traveled from 13 to 30 years old or with whom and from where he interacted -- but we do know that Jesus taught this metaphorical and esoteric principle (i.e. that he claimed his own God Essence).

Bridging to Judaism, in the end all that is good is a language of praise to God/Love, right down to the beautiful first and last breath we take on this earth (YH-WH) (Yahweh being the Hebrew name for God and such a beautiful concept of Breath of Life).

Bridging to Islam, I love the Sufi poet Rumi and how he used light to describe God/Spiritual Essence.

I changed the world by changing my paradigm and myself.

If you'd like a friendly person to share your story with, I'm open to conversation. Cheers to you and your journey -- and thanks for taking time to read about mine!!