Many church leaders bemoan those who leave the church and then refuse to leave the church alone. Despite the ethical duty many ex-members feel to expose fraud when they see one or the training they have received to “always be converting” as missionaries. What about the hypocrisy when the church commonly talks about those who leave? Why doesn’t the church leave them alone? Those who leave are equated to “tares who masquerade as wheat”. Elder Maxwell claims that they “lecture the church about doctrines in which they no longer believe,” “criticize the use of church resources they no longer sustain,” and “condescendingly seek to counsel the Brethren whom they no longer sustain”! These “tares” can leave the church, but the church will not leave them alone. The church continually sends members and missionaries to check on them by sending mail, calling on the phone, visiting their homes, and even messaging on social media.
Church members will live in this wheat-and-tares situation until the Millennium. Some real tares even masquerade as wheat, including the few eager individuals who lecture the rest of us about Church doctrines in which they no longer believe. They criticize the use of Church resources to which they no longer contribute. They condescendingly seek to counsel the Brethren whom they no longer sustain. Confrontive, except of themselves, of course, they leave the Church, but they cannot leave the Church alone (Ensign, Nov. 1980, 14). Like the throng on the ramparts of the “great and spacious building,” they are intensely and busily preoccupied, pointing fingers of scorn at the steadfast iron-rodders (1 Ne. 8:26–28, 33). Considering their ceaseless preoccupation, one wonders, is there no diversionary activity available to them, especially in such a large building—like a bowling alley? Perhaps in their mockings and beneath the stir are repressed doubts of their doubts.
“Becometh As a Child” from April 1996 General Conference
Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Apostle
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1996/04/becometh-as-a-child
Where would the church leaders rather these who “no longer believe” go? Elder Maxwell for one would like them to stop the ceaseless preoccupation and check out a bowling alley!
Maxwell is sure to point out that those who leave the church and refuse to leave the church alone are stirring things up because they still have “repressed doubts of their doubts”. He’s claiming that even “anti-Mormons” who are seen as attacking the church must be repressing the real truth! He may have in this phrase inspires Uchtdorf who later encouraged members to doubt your doubts. They assume here that this is the real problem with apostates, they listened to their doubts too much, rather than doubting these doubts. Exmormons are simply Mormons with repressed doubts of their doubts. We must admit, it is difficult to keep track of what we should be doubting, was that a doubt? We can rest assured that church leaders have a special witness, and know “beyond a shadow of a doubt” they are right.
This is ridiculous double-speak here. Doubting doubts and repressing doubts of doubts quickly becomes circular logic that is meaningless. Well, the meaning is clear, they ridicule those who trust their doubts. Most of us who have left the church didn’t actually want to leave. We didn’t want to doubt. We didn’t want the church to be false. We didn’t make the church lie to us, we didn’t make Joseph Smith a fraud. We tried to make it work, but it simply doesn’t fit! It’s not that we listened to our doubts, or continue to repress doubting. It’s not that we want to counsel the Brethren, it’s that they seem to need counseling to do what is right. It’s that the church has continually come up short of what the church leaders told us to expect. We are told to trust them over our own conscience and our own gut, and our own research of actual facts. They want to have authority and honor without showing that they are capable of any of it. They want our obedience above anything. Just follow them and everything will be ok we are told. And then when it is not ok, they blame us for it. They say it is because we are rehearsing our doubts with others or not sufficiently ignoring our doubts or shelving our concerns.
Where did you go? Does the church leave you alone? Do you leave the church alone? Do you still repress doubts of your doubts? Find hundreds of exmormons telling their story and contribute your own.
More reading:
- https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1996/04/becometh-as-a-child
- If Joseph Smith was a deceiver, who willfully attempted to mislead the people, then he should be exposed – but leave the church alone won’t you?
- Orson Pratt Wouldn’t Have Left the Mormon Church Alone
- No Surprise that Every Ex-Mormon is Still a Missionary
- Mormon Authorities Threaten Doubters With “Don’t You Dare Bail” Messages
- Elder Holland’s Taffy-Pulled Devotional – Don’t You Dare Bail & Stay in the Boat!
- The Church Leaves the Term Mormon, But Can’t Leave it Alone
- Whistleblowing On the Mormon 100 Billion “Rainy-Day Fund”